Family Dynamics — My Mother — Daughter Relationship

I Am Very Close To My 3 Sons

Thank you Ruby Noir 😈 for this prompt:

“Explore our relationships with our parents. Mothers and sons. And fathers and daughters.

Typically — these bonds are stronger, at least in childhood — if not throughout life — than mothers and daughters/fathers and sons. Which of your parents are you closer to and why?”

My Family

I was the oldest child. My sister is 3 ½ years younger and my brother is 9 years younger than me.

My mother taught me so much, and I’ll always miss her. She was a secretary, took shorthand and typed like the wind. I was closer to my mother, but I did love my father too.

My father was very smart, strong man. He was a Cost Control Supervisor, but he was an alcoholic, who got sober when I was 21 years of age.

He was in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous when I was a teenager. He usually drank in bars, so I was not aware of the alcohol problem until I was a teenager.

I think I was closer to my mother because my father was an alcoholic and not home many evenings.

I remember when I had a math problem asking my father for help, but he would talk to me for such a long time that I did not have time to finish my homework.

Maybe he had been drinking then, but I did not know.

My Siblings

My sister and mother seemed to often clash. I watched over my sister and held her when she cried. We were very close.

My brother was treated like a baby by my mother, and he paid a price for that. He did become an air traffic controller.

My father did not get outside to play baseball or do any many bonding activities either.

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection. — Sigmund Freud

Some Fun Times

We did go on picnics in the summer. We all loved them, and we all had a lot of fun. Christmas was also a very happy time in our home.

We always baked a lot of Christmas cookies and decorated the house. We did not have a lot of money, probably due to my father’s drinking.

My father got a part time job wrapping packages for a department store for a few weeks before Christmas, so we could have a nice Christmas.

My mother taught me to sew, and I made many of my own clothes when I was in high school. My mother was very frugal and shopped the sales.

Our life was structured with a lot of responsibility, especially for me. In the summer I watched my brother and sister when my mother worked from the time I was about 12 years old. My mother always came home for lunch to check on us.

They paid me $80 at the end of one summer for this babysitting. I always worked, either babysitting or at a department store as a cashier when I was in high school.

Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. — Unknown

I had 3 boys and this quote is so true. Those years when I was raising them hold my best memories.

My Mother’s Last Years

My father had a very difficult year just before he passed away. My mother had a below knee amputation a couple of years later due to pathetic medical care.

She sold her house, and we built an addition to our home. She lived with us for almost 14 years until she passed away at 95 years of age.

It was not always easy being a caregiver, but we all got along. My husband loved her too.

We would talk almost every night, and I had a lot of questions answered. These talks helped me understand so many events in our lives. At 92 years old we did DNA tests and she found out she had been adopted.

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This is in response to prompt number 16 on December’s Deep Thought Prompt List

Thank you for reading. Copyright©2023 Pamela Oglesby

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