Summary

The author describes a personal journey from passive-aggressive behavior and emotional turmoil to a state of peace and happiness through self-awareness, meditation, and yoga.

Abstract

The author of the web content shares a transformative experience that began with the realization of their passive-aggressive approach to life, which was rooted in past grievances. This awakening was sparked by the book 'Money Is My Friend' by Phil Laut, which introduced the concept of 'Failing To Get Even.' The author details a decades-long struggle with emotional patterns, including anxiety, resentment, and a cycle of failure, which were perpetuated by their environment and past experiences. The turning point came in 2018 when a life crisis led to isolation and intensive self-work, including yoga and meditation practices, particularly those by Dr. Joe Dispenza. This period of reflection allowed the author to reframe their perspective, understand the impact of brainwave states on emotions, and ultimately, release the need for retribution. The author emphasizes that happiness is a state of mind that can be cultivated through intentional practices, leading to the ability to set loving boundaries and feel compassion for those who have caused harm.

Opinions

The author believes that the passive-aggressive behavior was a misguided attempt to protest past mistreatment.
They suggest that a lack of success does not punish those who have wronged us but rather perpetuates a cycle of abuse and failure.
The author posits that personal development literature can offer some help, but it may not be sufficient for profound change.
They assert that intense personal crises can serve as catalysts for significant personal growth and understanding.
The author is convinced that meditation and yoga can alter brainwave states, leading to a reduction in anxiety and a shift in worldview.
They express that happiness is independent of external circumstances and can be achieved through the cultivation of positive brainwave states.
The author advocates for the importance of setting boundaries with empathy and without feeling threatened, indicating a shift from defensiveness to compassion.
They imply that detractors are often acting from their own place of unhappiness and that understanding this can foster compassion rather than anger.
The author promotes the idea that intentional practices like yoga and meditation are effective antidotes to anxiety and other negative emotions.

Failing To Get Even

The silent roar at the past that can never be heard, but is always felt.

Roar At The Past (midjourney image by author)

I first became awakened to the unhealthy, passive-aggressive approach I had been living when I read the book ‘Money Is My Friend’, by the late Phil Laut.

Phil explained the idea of ‘Failing To Get Even’.

(And he actually had to explain the double entendre.)

I was failing at ‘things’ in life in the present as a passive way to protest what I considered to be mistreatment in the past.

The Result?

Not only did I fail at ‘things’, but, I also failed to get even.

My lack of success did NOT awaken the others to enlightenment for their wrong-doings.

Instead, quite the opposite…

I became labeled and from young childhood, I set myself up for a lifetime of more gaslighting, belittling comparisons implying weakness of character, subtle innuendoes about genetic-family-faults within me…

The abuse/frustration/failure cycle looped and looped as though the emotions were in orbit between us.

Slow Awareness Building Slammed Into Abrupt Enlightenment

In hindsight, and from the perspective that I’ve cultivated over the past few years of intentional healing — I’m delighted to report that the entire pattern of ‘failing to get even’, the entire pattern of anxiety and resentment can be melted away.

The steps are so scientific, you can out-logic your EGO.

You can overcome your quiet anger.

You can release it from your body.

And you can retrain your brain and body into a completely different feeling state. Good news is: every step of the journey feels like relief!

1990s

I didn’t understand why my life was so frustrating while I watched others enjoy the experience…

Through the 1990s until 2018… for two decades… I studied PILES of personal development books. Many of them helped, but I still struggled and thought it was because of the shortcomings I had accepted as me.

2018

I crashed my life so profoundly, that I was isolated for two years. Kind of like a monk. I did yoga twice a day, and I followed the guided meditations of Dr. Joe Dispenza for more hours than I did yoga.

My crash was actually the final bit of a puzzle that permitted me to complete a picture of life that I’d been working for years to figure out… and like a super saturated solution — my mind crystalized.

I knew the answer.

I understood that I had been looking at the puzzle upside down.

I saw the path I needed to forge.

And I saw how fucking far I needed to go.

Boom.

I didn’t work much. I coasted on crypto profits. I withdrew from the world.

And I worked on my brain. I worked on my emotions. I did 40 hot yoga classes a month, I sat in meditation with Dr Joe, and I journaled.

I made a case study of my own experience — I totally knew that I had thought my way into my life-rekting mess. I could now see every step that I had taken along the wrong path, and I totally knew I that could think my way out if it.

Just as surely as I had walked the wrong direction without a guide, I could now head the correct direction along with my guide.

Monitoring Your Brainwaves

If you are feeling the fight-or-flight reflex — THAT feeling is now your problem. Not likely the thing you are thinking about...

Once I realized that everything looks like a threat when I’m feeling ANY of the fight-or-flight emotions… and those very same things appear very differently after a hot yoga class when my brain is in low beta brainwaves…

Then I started to put together brain science to become aware that my anxiety, frustration, resentment and passive aggressive approach are totally different after the hot yoga class!

My feelings can be measured by brainwaves. When I change my brainwaves, my feelings change.

My World View Always Changes After Yoga

But it amazes me how anxiety makes me second-guess my need for the anxiety antidote

medium.com

My approach to my life changed

I began to realize that my happiness is not because of what someone did to me, but my happiness is because of my brainwave state in this moment… and I can cultivate that happy brainwave state just the same as I can practice any skill.

Hmmm

So they have no power over me, with their opinions and unsolicited advice.

I can be happy even WHEN someone might gaslight me, belittle me, discredit me and even WHEN they work expressly against me to intentionally cause me damage…

I actually CAN change my brainwaves and — wow-

I begin to see how broken and angry and unhappy my detractors are.

They want me to feel as badly as they do, and if they make me feel worse — they actually get relief from that.

I’m not angry with them anymore.

But compassionate.

Contented Brainwaves Care For The Future. (image by author)

Setting Boundaries Becomes Easy And Loving

Where I used to become defensive, I feel empathy and I can set new boundaries with old family patterns by simply stating the behavior.

‘ouch! that sounds like you feel…’

At the same time, my brain is in low-beta. Calm. I can listen to them. Make them feel validated. I’m not threatened.

It feels good!

I want to go to yoga.

I’m At The End Of My Rope. Ok! I’ll Try Yoga.

After my train-wreck sized life crisis, I gave in and tried Hot Yoga. And I’m so glad I did.

medium.com

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