HUMAN CONNECTION

Ever Received A Fan Letter?

Or send one? How to make a difference, how to meet a friend

Have you ever written a fan letter?

I can see some of you shaking your heads, Oh, no, no, not me, my boy, I’m not as uncultured as all that. I’m not one of those people.

There’s a weird stigma. Stalker-ish.

Being labeled “a fan” somehow conjures swooning pre-teen girls pledging the Harry Styles Fan Club, wide-eyed and unhinged sports freaks craving alone time with their football idol, or those questionable, pushy folks needing a shower queuing up at pay-for-autograph shows at an Airport Marriott ballroom.

Which is a shame.

Because in truth, (if we’re reasonably alive), we’re all fans of something. Why shouldn’t we loudly proclaim our wonder at someone’s creativity, someone’s gifts?

I suppose a more interesting question is -

Have you ever received a fan letter?

Yep, I see too many of y’all shaking your heads no. Not so fast!

Perhaps “letter” is what’s throwing you off.

How about a fan e-mail or a fan text? A complimentary message via Instagram or on your blog. Still a no?

I’m betting you have, yet you don’t even know it.

My Fan Letter Story

On a seemingly ordinary though auspicious day in beautiful Ojai, California, I stopped outside the Friends of the Library shop to browse their cart of books. I didn’t exactly need another one. You voracious readers will know what I mean. The lengthy pile at home awaiting my attention already existed. But the pull of books is too great — it’s too much fun — especially when the pickings (and the prices) are good.

I purchased three books that day, a character actress bio right up my alley and two that were more risks, a collection of short stories by an unknown-to-me author and Leave No Brother Behind, a war memoir written from a sister’s perspective. The cover image just drew me in, challenging the reader to contemplate the very -real fact that every dead soldier had a childhood, years of playing with siblings.

I’d opted to challenge myself and read something outside my usual sphere. With the book cover’s color, I’d mistakenly assumed it was about the Persian Gulf or Iraq War, and brought it home to be added to the pile.

When I finally did read it, I was so taken by the author’s nuance of emotion, her need to learn what happened to her brother in Vietnam, her emotionally multifaceted global quest, and the cast of characters she recruited and befriended in that journey.

What happened next though was out of character for me. Plenty of times authors have blown me away — some more profoundly — but this moment in time caught me in a headspace where I felt limitless, where all self-imposed barriers had recently been tossed aside.

With Google as my friend I located Jan on Facebook, determined it was indeed her, then rattled off a much-overwritten post in Messenger, a grateful reader speaking to an admired author.

Done.

And then, ding-went-the-notification, she responded —

“Joe, what a lovely email to receive. Thanks so much for giving me some context and such specific feedback about what spoke to you. Best to you in this messy and beautiful journey.”

She gave me her email address. She followed me on Facebook and began marveling and commenting on my 365-Day Gratitude Posts and my occasional essays. Months passed, and social media allowed us to comment on life’s ups and downs. We were morphing into peers. Friends.

And last week?

We shared an hour-long first face-to-face chat via Zoom.

All from a simple fan letter. All from taking the time to sit down — not talking myself out of it — and expressing praise and gratitude to another artist for overcoming her obstacles and producing good work, good art.

YOU have received fan letters too, you know.

The comments here on Medium, or your blogs are often, in a way, your own screaming fan letters. Or there’s that diligent reader who’s discovered you here and then taken the initiative to find your website.

And oh, doesn’t that feel good.

The dopamine hit of another writer praising a particular turn of phrase, a reader professing you opened her eyes to a new way of seeing the world or inspiring her to travel, to make mental shifts based on your advice, or, often best of all, that you made him laugh.

So, if we know those comments contain that kind of emotional power for us on Medium, often multiple times a day, why not take a moment to track down a favorite author, hero, teacher, or artist and give them that same gift?

A personal letter, a well-crafted email, or a direct message might just be the beacon of hope and affirmation, the flicker of recognition of “I see and honor you” that a writer or artist may be needing at this very moment as they struggle through their mental minefield of life.

You — yes, little old you — have the power to brighten someone’s life.

I’m not talking about writing to Britney Spears, Patrick Mahomes, or Stephen King — nah, no one with a staff, managers, gatekeepers, and fan clubs to provide a barrier. But that neighbor, former teacher, local community theater actor, the regional artist or author or storyteller who might just be hanging on to their dream by a thread, wondering what it’s all for or what all the work is about.

Jan published the book in 2010. I wrote her in 2022.

Write that fan letter.

Write what prolific writer/podcaster Janet Gallen refers to as Love Letters. Be rapturously verbose or stunningly brief and to the point, but from your authenticity, from your heart.

Too afraid to do it? Fear not.

In Austin Kleon’s fantastic book Steal Like An Artist, he recommends Public Fan Letters —

“If you truly love someone’s work, you shouldn’t need a response from them. So, I recommend public fan letters. Write a blog post about someone’s work that you admire and link to their site. Make something and dedicate it to your hero. Answer a question they’ve asked, solve a problem for them, or improve on their work and share it online.”

Maybe she’ll see it, maybe he won’t. But you showed your appreciation without expecting anything in return, and best of all, you now possess a new piece of work to show for it.

Blogs, Medium, and social media make this all the more possible. I could give you 923,000 ways in which social media has ruined things for us, but there’s no denying you can have a tiny sliver of unprecedented direct access to your favorite authors, actors, heroes. A clever comment, a witty turn of phrase, and Octavia Spencer or Tim Ferris is suddenly replying to your post, something you stated with authenticity.

Allow me to present Exhibit A, also known as, The-Day-My-Entire-Existence-Suddenly-Had-Profound-And-Unshakable Meaning —

Oh Joe, you snipe, that was just her social-media manager, her assistant.

Bite your tongue!

I’ll be strutting around for years on this.

C.J. Cregg of The West Wing, Oscar-winning she-can-portray-anything actress Allison Janney liked — LIKED! — my comment. (I picture her hitting that Like button while in a white robe, sipping her evening tea).

See the power you can have?

Get crackin’.

Write that letter — from the heart.

Thanks for reading. I’ll be writing a full article on my impressions of Jan Christian’s Leave No Brother Behind soon.

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