Howl

Embracing Our Inner Wildness

A Howl update

Do you know where the moon is in her cycle right now? Do you know what major seasonal event is on the horizon? Ladies, do you know where you are in your own cycle at this moment? (Men, if you have a female partner, do you know where she is in her cycle?)

You might not think any of this matters. You might not see that the moon cycle has any relevance in your life. Maybe you think the changes of the seasons don’t matter. And I’m sure you’ve been taught that your own monthly cycle doesn’t matter that much, except when cramps or fatigue interfere with what you want to accomplish.

In our modern society, we don’t pay attention to the cycles of nature — even those cycles that play out in our own bodies. We are taught to treat every day the same, no matter the season, no matter the week, no matter our own physical needs.

We push ourselves through the same workday in the cold, unforgiving winter that we push through in the lighter, more energetic days of summer. We toss back a few painkillers when we get our period and power through our usual workouts and hectic schedules.

Maybe — maybe — if we’re really observant, we might notice a full moon here or there. But mostly, we just keep going.

I find our disconnection to nature to be one of our greatest — and yet unrecognized, unacknowledged — failures. We work too hard. We ignore everything but our worldly obligations. We prize overdoing above being, feeling, and experiencing.

It is no wonder to me that our souls and bodies are so often starving. It’s no wonder to me that we sometimes struggle with fertility, that we often fail to truly bond with others, and that we are prone to feeling disconnected from ourselves.

It’s important to me that my work inspires people to connect more with nature and with themselves. You’ve heard me say a thousand times: We are animals. Just because we have domesticated ourselves and now live in these little boxes called homes doesn’t mean that our wilder nature isn’t still within us.

You can take us out of the woods, but you can’t take the woods out of us.

Our inner wolves don’t follow the rules and schedules that we’ve set for them. We can try to tame that creature all we want, force it to wake up with the early alarm, force it to go to the gym, force it to put in an 8–14 hour workday, force it to get by on crappy food, little sleep, and (god forbid) inadequate sexual fulfillment.

But it will always fight back.

Maybe it will act out in unexpected ways, sleeping through the alarm on the day you have that big presentation, eating three thousand calories worth of cookies, engaging in sexual activity that doesn’t feel good to you…

Make no mistake: Your inner wolf is running the show.

As I have pondered the direction in which I want to take Howl, I decided it was important to weave in the cycles of nature — partly to give it more structure, but also to help us all remember our cycles and the cycles of the world around us.

Each piece will now align with one of the four phases of the moon: new, 1st quarter, full, and 3rd quarter. And each of those phases will have a corresponding theme: nourishment, hunger, instinct, and liberation.

New Moon: Nourishment

At the new moon, when the sky is dark — when you might not be able to see even a sliver of light— it is time to rest. It’s time to draw the boundaries around your sacred space and allow yourself to renew your energy. Unlike us, wolves know when to pull back. They know when to rest and they understand the importance of staking out and guarding their territory.

This is a time of the month when I’ll be writing about subjects like boundaries, consent, self-care (yes, including masturbation!), and intimacy. This is the time when we should be taking care of ourselves and giving ourselves nourishment in whatever form we need.

1st Quarter: Hunger

After the new moon, we enter the waxing phase, when the moon begins its journey to full expression. About a week after the new moon, it’ll reach its 1st quarter stage, when it looks like a half-circle. The energy of this time is growth, expansion, and movement. This is the time to declare (and pursue) what you want. It’s all about hunger.

At this time of the month, I’ll focus on subjects that center around desire: celebrations of female sexual desire, the importance of expressing and communicating desire, and fun pieces that I hope will make you feel desire.

Full Moon: Instinct

About a week later, the moon will be full, spilling its beautiful light onto the earth. No part of it will be in shadow any longer, allowing us to experience its full orb. We can see everything so clearly now. We are running on pure instinct.

Here, I will write about subjects like healing, intuition, and happy and humorous expressions of sexuality.

3rd Quarter: Liberation

After the peak of the full moon, it will begin waning, moving back into shadow. Halfway between the full and new moon phases is the 3rd quarter, a time of endings, a time to let things go. Wolves don’t carry with them what they no longer need — they know how to liberate themselves from unnecessary baggage.

During this phase of the moon, I’ll focus on all the bullshit I want us to let go of: shame, sexism, outdated social norms, damaging stereotypes, and cultural and religious beliefs that don’t serve us. Bye-bye!

Why does this matter?, you ask.

I’ll say again: You are an animal. You’re a wild creature of the wild woods. (Ladies, I’m speaking particularly to you, who are so rarely given permission to embrace this wildness.)

We might choose to ignore our connection to the world around us. But I believe we do that at a cost. Nothing good comes of ignoring our inner wolves. If we don’t experience a million little splinters over time, eventually, we will just snap right in half.

We are untamable and I want us to embrace that — especially women. But as we explore our inner wildness, we have to learn how to focus and channel that wildness and let it be our guide.

I’ve been talking with a new friend recently about the emergence of our inner wolves. He said our wolf selves are “wild, unpredictable, and a little bit dangerous.” That’s exactly who we are and who we should want to be.

But in order to do that, we must pay attention to ourselves. We must pay attention to the world around us, the world that is our true home. We must learn to recognize and honor our cycles.

Join me each Friday over at Howl, and we’ll do it together.

© Yael Wolfe 2019