FAKE NEWS
Economists Predict a Post Covid Baby Boom
To lift the economy in 2021 and beyond
The Bureau of Economic Analysis is predicting a post Covid baby boom to lift the economy in 2021 and beyond. Analysts point to the notion that, with couples being confined indoors, the opportunity to procreate would present itself. However, nothing is ever simple in human affairs.
Couples report that with other family members also indoors, opportunities for love making have been curtailed thereby stunting what might have been ample opportunity. The uncertainty around the post Covid economy has made families cautious about job and economic prospects. These factors conspire to form a decreasing not increasing birth rate.
While economic sectors reliant on social gathering in public places have suffered, others have not. Video streaming services continue to enjoy robust subscription growth. Hardware and software used for work from home or online meetings have become workstation essentials and household words. Alcohol and cannabis sales enjoy record growth.
Amazon has asserted itself as the dominant online retailer. Food delivery services like Uber Eats, Door Dash and Skip the Dishes are now part of our daily dialogue. Home delivery food sales have undoubtedly been boosted by craving related to alcohol and cannabis stimulated appetites. The contents of the recycling bin tell all.
The resulting consumption and weight gain has been termed “feeding my Covid baby”. Judging from some of the protrusions, these babies won’t be limited to women.
While male pregnancy is a relatively new phenomenon, it is one that gained traction as transsexuals enjoy greater human and reproductive rights. Male obstetrics are now an elective in many leading medical schools. Ultrasounds will never be the same. We can only hope that the garment industry responds with paternity wear for men. The emergence of the pregnant man has spurred the need for gender specific reproductive education.
The Emergence of Midhusbandry
Educators are scrambling to create curricula for programs for the burgeoning field of Midhusbandry. Practitioners encourage men to aspire to natural childbirth without the use of painkillers like epidurals. Advocates point to the democratization of childbirth so as to free birthing men from the reproductive industrial complex. Union Nations sponsored World Health Organization is developing sustainability models to fund and promote midhusbandry and create an atmosphere of cultural acceptance. Upon completion of midhusbandry training, the companion/practitioner to the birthing male is known as a Doyle.
While predictions in a pandemic are difficult, we could be on the verge of a demographic tidal wave that could power the economy for the next decade. Men no longer have to justify their weight with “keeping a roof over their tool”. “Feeding your Covid baby” will bring new rights of passage that could revolutionize the nuclear household. Men have never had to plan around due dates before.
The gender reveal parties will be the highlight of the 2021 social season. For those Covid babies conceived at the beginning of the pandemic we’re now in the last trimester. It’s time to break out those baby naming books.
