Due to COVID-19 — All Vampire Werewolf and Zombie Recruitment Remains on Hiatus

Unless you can show proof of being fully vaccinated

The year 2020 was a difficult year for all vampires, werewolves, and zombies. Recruitment was at its lowest, membership renewals were canceled, and all Biters Anonymous group sessions were postponed. However, the support group still encourages addicts to join the therapy sessions via Zoom.

In March 2020, vampires, werewolves, and zombies were devastated by the news of the COVID-19 outbreak. However, they made the best of it by doing what everyone else was doing; stuck at home: DIY Projects. Vampires took advantage of the downtime to train more bats and reupholster their coffins, werewolves researched more ways to reduce their hairball problem, and zombies power washed their headstones and re-sodded plots.

However, as the number of COVID-positive cases grew, the morale of monsters plummeted, stating ‘Humans aren’t the only ones impacted by the pandemic’. In fact, Count Dracula chimed in on social media giving some much-needed optimism.

“If we can survive The Bubonic Plague then we can survive this.”

Things seemed to be on the upswing with the release of vaccinations in 2021. With the number of people getting vaccinated rising, all creepy creatures of the night are feeling more optimistic. The Vampire-Werewolf Coalition has recently met and entertaining the idea of taking in new members as long as they can show proof of vaccination, stating, ‘We don’t want just anyone’s flesh and blood. We want healthy and non-contagious individuals. Unfortunately, the vaccination gives a bitter after taste but once you get past the first bite it’s not that bad’.

The zombie population has been less choosy and has stated, ‘Mrwwarrr. We bite everyone’. *drool*

Luckily, not all spooky-beings have been negatively impacted and are still available to join this Halloween season. Witch covens are fully operational and striving to make efforts with their home cauldron remedies. However, they ask that all spells no longer start with ‘Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble’ since COVID has created enough problems as it is.

One witch stated, “We’ve exceeded our quota for mischief and taking on a more holistic approach with our concoctions now.”

Dancing around bonfires is still being conducted since they are done outdoors with a spacing of more than six feet apart.

Demons, goblins, and ghosts have been having a field day since the request for quarantine and social distancing went into effect. With more people remaining at home, “It has become easier to pull pranks and make things go ‘bump in the night.’”

With 2022 around the corner, all spooky-beings are looking forward to the new year and encourages everyone to consider getting vaccinated.

If you are looking for more fall humor articles, check these out ⬇️

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