Don’t Tell Me I’m Beautiful

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Abstract

chin</p><p id="18bf">No evidence I ate today. I need a belt now. I need to nurse my baby now. I am so full of milk All the neighbors can bring their Children to see and sip</p><p id="20fc">Sometimes, I wish we weren’t cousins He said. OH MY GOD! Me too, I admitted. I hate the attention.</p><p id="4bda">I love you. Don’t tell your grandma, ok? I can keep a secret. But I cannot. I loved it. It was wrong.</p><p id="8704">All I want to do is get you. I cannot stand the thought of you. Sleep in my tent with me. Tomorrow we will get breakfast And get married over coffee With cream and no sugar. Sugar is a deal breaker.</p><p id="f404">Yes, we are so beautiful Sitting at your bar. You love the control, The slip of the drug. Because you could own our beauty, We escaped.</p><p id="d70a">Would you have even known Which mangled bodies Mixed with metal from a guard rail Cement in place of teeth Wombs ripped sideways Would you recognize our beauty now that we were asleep at the wheel not even a dream could pull our minds back into ourselves</p><p id="e40a">What is beautiful? The want to just not shower. The sweat under my jeans. My unwashed self lagging, Pressing buttons on my phone.</p><p id="d151">Waiting for it to ring So you can tell me I’m beautiful.</p><p id="89ee">Tits pointed down The squashing of glands The hoping it’s nothing What runs in your family?</p><

Options

p id="1d3a">My body already convinced That public sex Is good for me You just didn’t care When I said, let’s not.</p><p id="6ba2">I’m aging Just like you. And damn, we’re beautiful.</p><p id="1f64"><a href="https://medium.com/@LazarSamantha">Samantha Lazar</a> 2019</p><p id="4263">More work by Samantha Lazar</p><div id="79ab" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/untangle-me-please-28a90081a457"> <div> <div> <h2>Untangle Me Please</h2> <div><h3>A Poem of Friendship Ending</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*wzamzTE0vdS007he)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="9705" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/stop-the-bleed-fd36a4d6ae3b"> <div> <div> <h2>Stop the Bleed</h2> <div><h3>A New Training for a New Time</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*DaqeG80B4QaRaVGl)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

But tell me I’m Beautiful

It’s easy to be the pretty one. I have that power over you. Look up from my chest, I said. My eyes are watching you. Not my breasts.

I can let you use me As long as you appreciate what I gave Just don’t tell me I’m beautiful Isn’t my wit and conversation what you crave?

So what, My body is a temple No one really worships Yes, I love to be the beautiful one But I see you looking at someone else

What does beauty mean to you, Grandmother, Grandfather, Dad? You tell me I am too young to have love handles But I’m so beautiful, you said.

Those eyes, your neighbors gush. I hope I can button my pants. I am going to work out Will my heart explode today? Will running faster give me a chance?

That drive-through didn’t happen I wasn’t eating in my car. And if I WAS EATING in my car, She was too Does she have memory Savoring each bite The grease on her chin

No evidence I ate today. I need a belt now. I need to nurse my baby now. I am so full of milk All the neighbors can bring their Children to see and sip

Sometimes, I wish we weren’t cousins He said. OH MY GOD! Me too, I admitted. I hate the attention.

I love you. Don’t tell your grandma, ok? I can keep a secret. But I cannot. I loved it. It was wrong.

All I want to do is get you. I cannot stand the thought of you. Sleep in my tent with me. Tomorrow we will get breakfast And get married over coffee With cream and no sugar. Sugar is a deal breaker.

Yes, we are so beautiful Sitting at your bar. You love the control, The slip of the drug. Because you could own our beauty, We escaped.

Would you have even known Which mangled bodies Mixed with metal from a guard rail Cement in place of teeth Wombs ripped sideways Would you recognize our beauty now that we were asleep at the wheel not even a dream could pull our minds back into ourselves

What is beautiful? The want to just not shower. The sweat under my jeans. My unwashed self lagging, Pressing buttons on my phone.

Waiting for it to ring So you can tell me I’m beautiful.

Tits pointed down The squashing of glands The hoping it’s nothing What runs in your family?

My body already convinced That public sex Is good for me You just didn’t care When I said, let’s not.

I’m aging Just like you. And damn, we’re beautiful.

More work by Samantha Lazar