The Problem with Putting Other Writers on Pedestals
It’ll only make you feel inferior when you aren’t
Every time you mention someone you really admire in your article and they fail to recognize you, it makes you feel bad, doesn’t it? It makes you feel you’re not good enough.
You went out of your way to acknowledge this person and they turn a blind eye. You had great things to say, but they just didn’t care to even say thanks. Now you’re disappointed.
Is it their fault you’re now disappointed? No! Whose fault is it then? Yours. It’s your fault for putting another human high up on a pedestal instead of seeing them as your equal.
When you try to communicate all the things you love about a person while you’re standing on the floor and you are uncomfortably looking up at them, seeking some form of recognition, and they are looking down on you, it feels awkward and forced.
You wonder why they aren’t seeing you. Aren’t you just giving them the praise they deserve? Isn’t it flattering to receive compliments? Shouldn’t they love you for making them feel so big?
By placing a person on a pedestal, you immediately create an inferior/superior relationship between the two of you. They are way up there and you are way down there. You create a distance between the two of you.
They don’t feel like they can truly connect with you, because it’s clear you’re not viewing yourself and them as being equals.
You see them in a glowing light that shines and dominates all their flaws and you think they’re so perfect and you can’t measure up to them.
We idolize people and then blame them when they act in contradiction to our idea of them, and we get hurt that after all our efforts they didn’t see us.
We become so absorbed in all their good qualities, their accomplishments, their top writer statuses, and their insane number of followers that we forget they’re human beings too.
When you constantly mention them in every post you make and they fail to recognize you, you start to see the other parts of them that don’t shine as bright.
You can’t fall in love with the idea of someone and then get disappointed when they don’t become the person you assumed they were.
What do you do then? Carefully and gently bring Tim Denning off that pedestal you put him on and put yourself on it.
The only person you really can put on a pedestal is yourself. In the sense of trying to be a better person, trying to be more successful, and trying not to let loving other people make you love yourself any less.
Whether it is your boss, a movie star, a friend, your partner, or your spouse, putting people on a pedestal is much different than having respect and holding them in high regard.
While there may be many things you admire in another, putting them on a pedestal because they display certain traits does not serve you. It doesn’t serve the other person either.
The person on the pedestal feels pressured to act in a certain way. The person who placed the other on the pedestal feels they aren’t good enough.
The minute you put another on a pedestal, you are denying both yourself and the other the actual experience of each other.
To place another above us, we have to consider ourselves beneath them.
While you may respect them or think them worthy of such esteem, in reality, you are only setting your relationship with them up for failure.
When we put a person on a pedestal, we hold them to a higher standard than we hold ourselves or others.
We see them as more than and better than us and while this may be true, it is only true in certain areas of their lives.
If you have another on a pedestal, you are not seeing them, you are seeing only your ideal and only those aspects of them that you want to see.
People put professionals on a pedestal based on nothing more than a title and some credentials. Neither says anything about the kind of person they actually are.
It is impossible to work with someone when you have them elevated to some out of reach position.
It makes communicating with them extremely awkward and uncomfortable. And besides, people who are on pedestals are very hard to get hold of.
The truth is, we all have things we are great at and have the potential to excel at. We all have certain abilities and our own way of manifesting them.
When we put others on a pedestal, we make them stars we are deprived of not knowing.
People are who they are regardless of what you think about them, and what you think about them doesn’t change who they really are. It only changes your perception of them.
You might not even realize you’re doing this!
It shows up in many ways however, one way we introduce the pedestal is through admiration. When you admire someone’s talent or personality with so much intense emotion, you start feeling less than them.
You think they have something more to offer. You shrink your existence and you devalue yourself. You become addicted to comparing yourself to them.
Everything they do makes you seem to think less of yourself as if you can never be at their level. They have it all, the money, the relationship, the outfits, the lifestyle, the top writer status, and even the followers.
You admire them, but you are also devaluing your existence and journey.
It is okay to be where you are. Nobody is better than you. You disempower yourself when you think someone is better than you because of their status.
If you put someone on a pedestal, then they have no choice but to look down on you and when that happens, well, you know who’s to blame.
Everyone is a reflection of you! The light you see in someone is already in you.
If you admire how someone can produce new content day after day, flourish your own by showing up and become committed to your own projects!
Spend time acknowledging all the things you are good at. Are you good at helping others? Are you good at writing? Are you good at listening?
Acknowledge your skills in that area.
When you see traits you admire in someone else, you won’t be viewing that other person as far above you.
You’ll just notice that they are strong in that area and you are also strong in a different area. From there, you can look into ways to get stronger at that trait without putting the other person on a pedestal or putting yourself down.
Focus on yourself, your own passions, hobbies, and interests. Become stronger in what you are already good at. Sometimes we forget how great we are because we are too busy wishing to be someone else.
Start putting yourself on the damn pedestal! This isn’t to say look down on others because you’ve just discovered your own awesome talents.
Being on the damn pedestal means no longer looking up at anyone, no longer comparing, developing a healthy mindset, self-confidence, self-respect, and only focusing on you.
The only reason anyone is ever superior to you is if you let them be. Overcome your insecurities by setting good intentions for yourself and others.
It’s time to stop worrying so much and starting living with great power and true potential.
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