Don’t Fool Yourself Frequent Sex Won’t Stop Him From Cheating
And here’s the proof.
When it comes to love and loyalty, do the two go hand in hand? According to experts, regular intimacy can reduce divorce rates and strengthen relationships.
To understand the importance of sex in a marriage, you need to look at it from a male point of view, and this can be difficult at times.
Women need to be loved and cherished, and this often happens through verbal signs of affection. On the other hand, men are very simple and almost primal in their needs.
In marriage, sex is far more important because a man’s ego is tied to sex. It is what motivates him and keeps him going. Despite other tasks and decisions to be made on a daily basis, men want women to make sex a priority.
The importance of sex for men differs from that of women, as men need sex in a relationship to show strength and unity.
Sex is considered the one thing that keeps you connected to him. This is how a man sees that the relationship is alive and strong, and when it is missing, he starts to panic.
Does this mean that sex can prevent a man from cheating?
There is a stigma that what men only want from women is sex. Women have been brainwashed into believing that if they don’t give their men sex, they get it somewhere. And there are women who regularly have sex with their men, but still, they end up being cheated on.
The idea that men have to have sex all the time to stay faithful is a big old myth. Some studies have shown that those who have great sex lives cheat more.
When men have an affair, they are usually motivated by sex: new sex, more sex, different sex. Studies show that most cheating men want to sexually experience and feel the thrill that comes with the “new sex.”
This is their way of indefinitely prolonging the initial and intoxicating phase of infatuation in a relationship. But men also cheat to either avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage.
There are men who cheat when they begin to experience the fear and loss that comes with aging. They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they date someone who is “young and new,” to make them feel more youthful.
Often, especially in marriage, men cheat because they are no longer in love with the person they are with, and they don’t want to exit or admit to their partner that they are no longer attracted to them and that they need them to ends things.
Cheating is a selfish thing. When someone cheats, it is not necessarily about you but rather about them. It’s about the whole in their heart that needs to be filled. It’s about a past, a pain, or insecurities they need to conquer.
The changing dynamic of cheating
Infidelity, also referred to as cheating, has existed since marriage was invented, and so does the taboo against it. Cheating is hurtful, not just wrong. Cheating is seen as an act of betrayal.
It is difficult to define infidelity as its scope has expanded over the years. Before, it used to be just having a child out of wedlock.
Today it could be an online chat with a stranger, it could be a birthday message with a heart emoji, it could be watching porn, it could be talking to your ex you recently reconnected with on Facebook.
Where do we draw the border is one of the biggest border questions these days. A clearer understanding is that cheating is disorganized around a secret. Cheating is about a violation of an agreement or a trust.
So the secrecy is the central element. And around the secrecy is a certain level of emotional involvement to one degree or another.
Men throughout history have practically been allowed to cheat. And they have all kinds of theories that justify being natural philanderers.
We have seen these evolutionary and biological theories which explain that males are not naturally monogamous while females are domesticated and monogamous.
The theory, men are polyamorous emanated from men being able to sire children for over seven decades, while women are constrained by age and menopause.
Monogamy is a social construct intended to keep women strapped as pawns to men. This misogynist perception only seems to create distrust and breakups in relationships.
How to heal from a betrayal
Some affairs are “break ups,” and some affairs are “make ups.” Some affairs may ring back to some things you and your partner have become complacent about — things you neglect and realize that you have too much to lose.
You should embrace yourself and see the affair as an opportunity to rise and aim for something better than what you used to have in the relationship.
It could also be a sign that you need to stop settling for someone who doesn’t appreciate you and move on.
The first thing you need to know if you are going to move on or not is that you need your partner to acknowledge how bad they have hurt you.
If they can’t acknowledge it, if they downplay it, justify it, or say you pushed them to do it, then don’t move on with that person.
Even if they don’t feel guilty about the experiences from the affair, they should feel remorse and guilt about how they hurt you.
Affairs are about hurt and betrayal but also about longing, lust, and self-exploration. In order for you to heal, you have to acknowledge that it’s not about you. It’s about them.
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