Summary

Librarians express frustration over being addressed with patronizing nicknames like "sweetie" or "baby" instead of their professional titles, despite their expertise and the respect they command in their roles.

Abstract

The article "Don’t Call Me Baby!" delves into the common yet disrespectful practice of library patrons addressing librarians with diminutive nicknames such as "sweetie," "honey-bunch," or "dear," despite their professional status. The author, a long-time librarian, shares personal experiences and echoes the sentiments of many in the profession who feel undermined by such informal modes of address. The piece highlights the irony of how individuals in a respected and educated field are often subjected to terms that belittle their expertise and authority. Through a series of anecdotes and comments from other librarians, the article underscores a widespread desire for the courtesy and recognition that their qualifications and years of service warrant, regardless of their age or gender.

Opinions

Librarians, who are trained professionals, feel disrespected when called pet names like "sweetie" or "baby" by patrons.
Some librarians tolerate these nicknames due to cultural norms, especially in the Southern United States, where such terms are often used as friendly substitutes for formal titles.
The issue is not isolated, as evidenced by a librarian's Facebook post that resonated with many in the profession.
Librarians believe that being addressed by professional titles, such as "Madam Director" or "Doctor," is a sign of respect that acknowledges their education and expertise.
There is a consensus among many librarians that they should not be referred to in ways that they would not address their own doctors or other professionals.
Some librarians have developed strategies to correct patrons who use diminutives, such as responding with equally informal but less gendered terms like "Hoss."
A few librarians are not offended by pet names and prefer to focus on the positive intent behind the patron's communication.
The article suggests that the use of nicknames could be a form of ageism or sexism, as it often occurs with older or female librarians.
The idea of imposing a fine for patrons who use diminutives is humorously proposed as a way to both discourage the behavior and benefit the library financially.

Don’t Call Me Baby!

I’m a Trained Professional, Not Your Sweetie-Pie

I am a trained professional, not a cupcake.

I’ve worked at my local public library for so long that I’m on a first-name basis with many of our patrons. And the rest greet me with the courtesy and respect that, as a trained professional, I deserve.

Except for when they don’t. Patrons sometimes call me “sweetie.” Or “honey-bunch.” Or “dear.” I may have to put up with it, but I don’t have to like it. And I‘m not alone. A librarian recently posted this lament on Facebook: “A patron just called me baby. Can I go home now?”

The comments that inspired from other librarians were sympathetic:

I hear you. I’ve got a Master’s Degree in Library Science. So naturally, I want to be greeted with “Hiya cupcake!”

I’m not a baby. I’m old enough to collect social security. Treat me with some respect.

Today a student half my age called me “hon.” And an older professor called me “sweetie.” *sigh*

Just wait till you get to be my age and they start calling you “young lady.” I’m in my 60s and I get this all the time. They think they’re being charming, but it’s just a cutesy way of saying “You’re old.”

The clear consensus? Librarians are not babies, kittens or cupcakes.

When I go to the hospital, I don’t call my doctor “baby.” Why is it okay to call me “baby?”

One of my regulars calls me Madame. It makes me feel like Heidi Fleiss.

We have a patron who calls everyone “kitten.” We haven’t been able to stop him.

Sometimes, it’s just a Southern thing:

The use of diminutives is particularly Southern. Most of the folks who do it mean no harm. They’re just substituting words like “honey” or “sweetie” for “Mr.” or “M’am.”

Exactly! I respond on a case-by-case basis. There are things I let slide with some groups of people that I wouldn’t take in stride with others.

I’m from the south and I have a tendency to call people “sweet pea.” Sometimes I’ll even slip and call a patron “sweet pea.” (But I always apologize.)

I used to have a great distaste for one patron who always called women “baby.“ But then my son went to work for him and found out that he always calls men the same thing. Ah, the South.

Of course, some folks can get away with anything:

I once had a patron who spoke with the most wonderful drawl. She could tell me to kill and eat my own dogs in that accent and I’d still think she was delightful.

One of our patrons always calls me “darlin” but he’s an old sweetie so I put up with it.

And a few librarians are actually okay with being kittens:

Being called “sweetie” or “baby” doesn’t bother me. I appreciate it when people try to be nice. After all, there are many worse things to be called!

Being called “sweetie” doesn’t offend me. As someone who isn’t religious, I’m much more bristle-y when someone tells me to have a “blessed day.”

I’m not religious either, but I always get a kick out of “Have a Blessed day.” And I love it when my favorite nun patron says “God Bless You” after she checks her books out. Which just proves your point!

Librarians, by nature, are polite and well-mannered. But sometimes even the nicest librarian will push back:

Being called “sweetie” by a patron is a huge pet peeve of mine. I always correct them with “You can call me by name or Madam Director — it’s up to you.”

I had a patron who always called me “baby.” I just ignored him until he finally changed to “M’am.”

We have a patron who calls everyone “cupcake” and I always respond, “That’s Doctor Cupcake to you, pal.” (I’m a doctor of jurisprudence.)

My favorite solution?

I always respond to people who call me diminutives by calling them “Hoss” and giving them a hard stare. It works really well.

I can’t wait to try that.

Wouldn’t it be great if every time you called me “sweetie” or “baby,” I got to place a small “annoying patron” fine on your account?

If that didn’t change your behavior, at least my putting up with your lack of respect would benefit my library.

In the meantime, sugar, here’s a little advice. If you want me to waive your overdue fine? Don’t call me “baby.”

(This essay appears in Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library by Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times and is also the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection of Library Humor If you want to buy inscribed copies or just want to say hi, you can reach her at [email protected])

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