Don’t be a Weasel: Sly Human vs. Natural Predator

Bloodlust, it’s a weasel thing

There’s no way to weasel out of reading this!(Had to say it)

Ser Cleos looked like a weasel, fought like a goose, and had the courage of an especially brave ewe. — Author: George R R Martin

What is a weasel?

The natural wilderness weasel is a cute little animal that kills for a living. They are long, furry and extremely sharp on one end. Their prey is usually small rodents and such. You may never see one of these in real life, because they tend to stay away from humans (except humans with farms who raise chickens and other natural prey.)

The human weasel is a sneaky, sly dude (or dudette) that takes advantage of the system while pushing innocent people down. Their prey is usually unsuspecting nice people and such. You will see human weasels on a daily basis in any office setting.

There’s a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it’s where most of life happens. — Author: Scott Adams

I’ve got nothing against weasels in their natural habitat, like the political arena of government backstabbing, or the open fields and forest that feral weasels inhabit. But I’m always on the lookout for a sneaky weasel trying to undermine my position in the world.

The Order of the weasel

Interesting fact: there are no wild animal weasels in Australia. That just goes to show that these little killers are only after an easy lunch. Since everything is all killer-y and poisonous and deadly in Australia, animal weasels didn’t even bother with that continent. They focused on ecosystems where their bloodthirsty nature gave them an edge against the kinder, nicer and more naive rodents in places like Europe and North America.

There are human weasels in Australia, although they don’t eat rodents for the most part.

There are many species of weasel. An example is the Amazon, or Tropical weasel that lives in South America. It runs about in the wilderness, hunting and killing and raising it’s young. It grows to be up to 20 inches long, with short reddish brown fur.

The corresponding human Amazon Weasel preys on the innocent by gaming the product review system, and trying to rip all of us for a quick buck selling as a third part seller on the Amazon Marketplace. It grows to to be quite large, with many items in its store.

You don’t want to be a weasel. But what are the hallmarks of someone that is entirely not weasel-y?

How not to be a human weasel

Be Honest — Let’s start with honesty. Weasels are always trying to find an edge by stretching the truth or outright lying. They do this to get out of work, to blame others or to flat out take advantage of everyone around them.

An honest person is someone to admire. A lying weasel is not. Be honest and take responsibility for your life.

To err is human. To cover it up is weasel. — Author: Scott Adams

Do your job — don’t try to weasel out of it! Human weasels are always trying to slide extra work onto your desktop just by them not doing it. All of that unfinished work ends up being given to the diligent, because it needs to be done, and we know that weasel down the hall is never going to get around to it! Bosses move the weasel’s work over to the office mouse because they can.

Find empathy — Weasels don’t have empathy. When they see a coworker in trouble, they see someone to ridicule and tease. The only feelings they care about are their own. When they cheat the system and throw you under the bus, they don’t feel your pain.

If you can put yourself in someone else’ shoes, then you will have empathy for them. We need to take better care of each other in all parts of life.

Don’t go for the throat — weasels see an exposed throat and lunge for it. This is natural and healthy if you are a wild predator that eats recently killed prey. If a wilderness weasel couldn’t do this, it would die of starvation.

Human weasels don’t need to do this to survive. They could find another way. It’s unhealthy and damaging to everyone if you see weakness and automatically exploit it. Human weasels are busy taking advantage of anyone underneath them. This keeps us from ever advancing, with entire groups stuck in poverty and want.

Give someone a leg up. Strive to be harmless, not harmful. Who wants to be known as a harmful human weasel?

Don’t eat rodents — it’s a disgusting habit. Rodents like mice and rats don’t even contain all the nutrients that human beings need anyway. And who wants to spend all of their time in back alleys, murdering cute little mice?

This article on weasels is the result of a one word article prompt I was given. Using the word weasel, I mind mapped and wrote an article in one morning, even though I really have nothing to say about weasels.

Comment below if you want to find out more about Tim’s Super Easy Mind Mapping Technique that even a human weasel could use! I can hook you up when I publish How to Write an Article Every Day With This Easy Mind Mapping Technique later on.

In the meantime, I also wrote about aliens that make hot sauce, and how not to chop your own body parts off with an axe while attempting to chop wood: