GREAT JOKES OF THE WESTERN WORLD — Cultural history
I Know Why the Dolphin Smiles
Things they never taught in school
Heavily invested
Napoleon may not have designed his iconic waistcoat, but he certainly had a hand in it.
Colossea
Caesar’s wife was above suspicion, but she was also overweight. She went shopping for a new outfit, and when they brought her a size L she said it was too big.
So they brought her a size XL.
When in Rome
I for one like Roman numerals.
Really digging history class
In mankind’s technological development through the use of tools, the invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
The human jukebox
Dad: Challenge me. I’ve been committing to memory every song that contains a person’s name. Give me any name and I’ll tell you a song that has that person’s name in it.
Sue: Um, Sue?
Dad: A Boy Named Sue by Johnny Cash
Sam: Pick me!
Dad: Telegram Sam by T Rex
Alfonso: What about my name, smarty-pants?
Dad: “Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear Alfonso…”
Clowned heads
There is an unexpected relationship between sovereign nations and marine mammals. In the Kingdom of France, the crown prince was called the Dauphin, which means “dolphin”. Weird, huh?
But that’s not all. In the United Kingdom, the heir to the throne is called the Prince of Whales.
In America, they have the presidential seal, and I’m still trying to find out what they have in Finland.
This one’s for you
I’ve written a joke about Elton John. It’s a little bit funny.
Laugh and call him names
How come at Christmas we hear about all Santa’s reindeer, except for the mean one, Olive.
Olive?
Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
Sixteen tones
The receptionist let the man go ahead of the crowded waiting room, and all the patients looked very glad to see him get priority treatment.
“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.
“I can’t stop singing.”
“I heard you in the waiting room. You know you’re also tone deaf?”
“No, but it would explain the looks people are giving me.”
“Well, how long has this been going on?”
“Last weekend. We went for a drive in the country, and I had this uncontrollable urge to sing The Green, Green Grass of Home. I saw a cat, and I sang What’s New, Pussycat at the top of my voice. Since then, I’ve been singing all these old songs. Can’t stop. On the bus, at work, even in my sleep I was singing Delilah, and my wife insisted I get treatment.”
“Well, from what you’ve told me, it sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome,” the doctor said, looking serious.
“I’ve never heard of it. Is it rare?”
“It’s not unusual.”
Just one ticket
I can’t stand those cutesy Russian dolls…. They’re so full of themselves.
Barney rubble blinked, but Dino saw us
They don’t watch The Flintstones in Dubai. But people in Abu Dhabi do.
Captivated
I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
Oh, what can it mean?
When my girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
Music to my eyes
Endless Love: Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
Britni
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