Does Anyone Know What It Means to Be Normal?
Stop trying to stuff yourself in a box that doesn’t exist
Many people want to be normal. The idea seems to bring about the thought of an easier life, one without its challenges to overcome. But I struggle to know what being normal even means.
Is there such thing as normal?
What is this box of normal we’re all supposed to magically fit into?
The meaning of a word
According to Google (Oxford Languages), normal can be defined as conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.
For a plant, this sounds great. For a person, not so much.
It feels constraining.
If you’re a normal person, this means you follow all societal, familial and psychological standards and expectations. The so-called norms.
Where’s the freedom in this?
How can this be easier on a person?
Others must be normal
I bring this up because of an article I read from Michele, The Sober Vegan Yogi. In it, she asked:
Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else?
The question got me thinking.
What is normal like everyone else?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve asked questions like this too, plenty of times.
But if Michele did fall under the definition of normal, we wouldn’t be graced with her wonderful articles.
The fact that she deviated from the norm is why she is who she is.
Is anyone normal?
It’s a group thing
The idea of normal is great when you think of how a fetus grows and a child develops. We search for and hang on to normal, hoping they turn out ok. And yet, they’re a blessing either way.
When it comes to anyone older than age 7, being normal is about trying to fit in a group, to be like the others, and to feel as though you belong.
A sense of belonging is great, as long as the group is aligned with who you are as an individual.
But, what happens when the group norm is not a match for you?
You likely start to feel like you don’t belong. You wonder why you’re not like the others. You start to question what’s wrong with you.
You neglect your inner voice, your uniqueness, your true self.
That’s what I did.
Personally, if there were a 100-box checklist of what it means to be normal, I would likely tick less than half.
An un-normal life
I come from divorced parents. I didn’t go to college or university directly after high school.
I lived with my partner for 15 years before we bought a house. We struggled with infertility. Then we had 1 child, got married, and had another baby.
I left my corporate job 5 years ago to initially pursue a career in I-have-no-idea.
I’m a recovering perfectionist. This is the result of my attempt to fit into the normal category.
I have anxiety. I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD (a shoutout to Candice Zakariya and her amazing articles about having ADHD).
My inner critic is a maniac and I call her Linda.
In my head, it’s definitely not normal at all.
Defining a new normal
Normal is not where your unique life is. It’s where conformity confines you to a box of the known and accepted.
I think normal is a made-up word to force people into a box that can be understood. It makes people feel safe.
What it doesn’t do is give individuals the freedom to be themselves.
So let’s stop trying to squeeze into an elusive box. Why not define your own unique path? Uncover who you really are. What makes you feel like you? What fills you up and makes you happy?
Maybe we can start to see normal as those who follow their hearts, live out their dreams, and support and serve others in a compassionate and non-judgemental way.
This is my new normal!
Wanting to be normal is like striving to achieve the impossible. It makes life more difficult and people less unique. While it can bring you a sense of belonging, this is only helpful when it’s aligned with who you are. Instead of working to conform to a crowd, why not define what normal means to you?
Thank you for taking the time to read my article. If you have the answer to what normal is, please fill the rest of us in on the mystery.
Feel welcome to create your own definition of normal and share it with us here.
Have a wonderful day!
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