MENTAL HEALTH|PSYCHOLOGY
Do You Want to Do Everything, Everywhere, All at Once?
I know I’m not alone, and I wonder how some of you handle it
A recent breaking point was when my body was on fire, seemingly every joint ached, my eyeballs burned and my thermometer announced that I officially had a fever.
I finally got some much-needed sleep and rest for the first time in too long. However, I could not stop thinking about all the things that I wanted to do as soon as I started to feel better.
My fever fortunately didn’t last more than a day but I only had maybe half my normal energy level back with severe congestion and a bit of a sore throat.
I could and did write a long to-do list for me to tackle over the upcoming days and weeks. I thought it would make me feel better to brain-dump everything onto paper.
It did and it didn’t feel good to get it all out.
Staring at all the hyphens, ditto marks, and words made my brain start to melt again, so I took a nap which I thought would make me feel better.
Sleeping a bit helped my body recover more, but it did not help my mind. All I could think about was the time I was wasting being a sickly slug, sleeping the day away in my apartment when I could be doing a ton of things I needed and wanted to do.
Fall is my favorite time of year. After an end-of-summer vacation in France and a week spent helping prepare for a friend’s wedding, on top of working my full-time job, I was really looking forward to going on long bike rides along new trails I’ve yet to explore in my area.
The weather this time of year is short-lived and is ideal for biking, hiking, and simply walking anywhere outdoors. Summer is generally too hot and humid where I live.
There are also loads of story ideas I have to write and publish on Medium, not to mention all that swirls through my mind on any given day in regard to two books I’m working on.
Did I mention the full-time job I work? The one with kids from 3–6 years old? The commute is an hour each way, so that’s 52.5 hours (30-minute unpaid lunch) of my week sucked away right there.
It is a rewarding but demanding job. One that I decided to leave by the end of the year. That means it’s time to find a new job.
As an American expat who has a few years more to go before I can apply to become a permanent resident, that is no easy feat.
Add applying to jobs to the list of things I aim to do daily, like learning German.
Ever since I was in my early 20s, I’ve wanted to be fluent in another language. I studied French for a few years in high school and college. I learned conversational Spanish while living in Argentina for a short while but have since forgotten most of it.
I was getting good at Italian because I visited so often but now that I’ve been living in Germany for a couple of years, I’m more determined than ever to become conversationally fluent as soon as possible.
Most of my friends have children. Some young, some grown and out of the house. A few even have pets that they care for alongside full-time jobs.
I don’t know how you all do it…especially while juggling the normal, mundane things like showering, cleaning, grocery shopping, doctor appointments, etc.
Then there’s time I want to spend writing in my journal, talking on the phone or in person with friends and family, playing games with my boyfriend, going out to eat, or simply watching a little television.
Did I mention my love of travel as well?
Sometimes I think I’m too ambitious.
Other times I feel I’m not ambitious enough!?
I just looked up and saw the book Watership Down. A friend recently loaned it to me along with three other books I’m eager to read. I also have an e-book by It's Ericajean that I’m really looking forward to starting.
It’s been more than a year since I’ve read an entire book.
Yes, I have a planner that I use regularly to write my endless to-do lists as well. However, I still struggle with pacing myself and getting everything done while trying not to feel overwhelmed by all that I want to do out of necessity or pleasure.
I know many of you can relate and feel like this, especially during the holiday season which is right around the corner.
Working out at my gym and meditation are some positive ways I’ve learned to cope with the pressure I put on myself but I’m not always good about making the time to meditate, even though it’s one of the most effective things I’ve done to help my stay more present.
Oftentimes, my mind is already on to the next thing I need or want to do even when I’m happy doing whatever it is that I’m doing.
That tends to make me feel anxious about time and completing everything in a day, year, or lifetime that I want to do because I’m one of those people who don’t like to just talk about accomplishing things. I like to actually start and finish them.
My vacations are a real treasure of unwinding and taking a break from it all but I struggle to find this balance in my everyday life.
How do you handle your desires to do more than you have the time, energy, or space for?
Some people I’m curious to hear from in particular:
JA Vassili, Misty Rae, Arpad Nagy, F. Leonora Solomon, Gerald Washington, Sara Burdick, It's Ericajean, Kristina God, Ruby Lee, [email protected]