Do You Still Speak The Language Of Love

I realized that I do.

“Toots, have I told you I love you today? I love you so much.”

My grandfather called my grandmother Toots. She was seventy-seven, my age, when she passed. Grandpa still referred to her as Toots when he would speak of her.

My father referred to my mother as Toots until they divorced when he was twenty-eight. After many years, I joined with my father and his new bride of three years when I was a sophomore in high school. He referred to her as Toots.

Toots

My children know that I refer to my wife as Toots. My grandchildren know as well. So what? Boring. It depends on who you are. People notice. Children notice.

The Love Language

I started speaking this language when I was a sophomore in High School to a young woman named Christine, who moved to our school from Oklahoma. She was beautiful. I was hooked. We used the language to build our bond.

Every time we met, it was like my mind switched gears. I wonder if it is like a person who speaks American and is suddenly thrust into a meeting where they speak their first language, Hindi.

I speak three languages: American (fluent), English (fluent), and the bottom line (a financial language and I am also fluent). Should I add Love? I would say I’m fluent.

Components of Love (from my point of view)

1 — The way we speak to one another is a softer, more forgiving, accepting, and trusting way.

2 — I’m always looking for ways I can make her life better. Can I do something for her? Can I do something that will save her time or keep her from harm's way? Is there something I can do to make her day easier? My wife is ten years younger. Without her, I would have died a long time ago. I owe her my life. Giving her all the love I can is just easy.

3 — I’m always asking, can I be helpful? She says, “No, I’m good, I’ll let you know.” Still, I ask again in a few hours if she is doing something else. Every once in a while, she lets me help her. My heart races, knowing it will benefit her.

4 — Before we were married, I had asked for her hand in marriage. She was thirty-eight, and I was forty-eight. My future father-in-law said, “I’d be giving my princess to you. What can you offer her to ensure her security? I told him how much I was worth, and he said, that’s nice. What can you tell me so I know she is safe with you?

I said, “First, she will be my Queen, and I will treat her as such. Her needs will be paramount over my own. She will have everything I can afford to give her, but I will not jeopardize our future to satisfy a short-term need. I do not want anything she has or has gained financially. It is hers. I’m just hoping she will love me as much as I love her.

He said, “I don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about in that department. She IS madly in love with you. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

5 — My age is changing me much faster than her. She is young, vibrant, and only now beginning to feel the aches and pains of bones that have served her well. She is always in good spirits and cheerful.

6 — As we age, intimacy has changed. She holds her hand on my shoulder longer than she used to. The hugs are more intentional. The surprise touch and the acknowledgment, “I love you, DR.” It happens without warning. It is not done to acknowledge me but to comfort me. When I’m deep in thought and writing, she shows up behind me and says, “Did I tell you I love you today? You know, you’ll always be my guy.”

7 — I see her doing dishes or laundry and say, “Hey, Toots, I love you!” Or, at times, I’ve hugged her and whispered, “You’re my gal. I love you so much.”

8 — Bedtime is sacred; it’s the opportunity for lots of affection, communication, and a commitment that tomorrow will be even better.

Overshared

Maybe, but if you’ve ever wondered what intimacy and love look like when you’re older, take note: you can have this, too. There’s just one thing you must do: continue to be better at the language of love.

Call to Action

The next time you see the person you love, tell them so. Not just in passing. Stop, share a moment, stare into their eyes when you speak, and let them know how you feel and feel about them. I guarantee surprises will be in store.

The language of love and respect for others is spoken well here at Dancing Elephant Press. If you would like to share your writing with us, please click here and read the guidelines, and then let us know by comment that you’ve read them and would like to be one of the many outstanding writers in our community.

You may have missed these DEP stories; please click through to read them:

My friend and fellow writer James Boylan recently wrote this. Be prepared to ask yourself a few questions you may not have thought to ask:

Enes Cevik has a poem and some lovely music to help understand the power of need and know exactly what that is.

Thanks for reading,

✍ — I would greatly appreciate it if you give me some feedback and let me know you saw this post. Thank you!

©DR Rawson

Don’t miss out on future stories — subscribe to read.💙

✍ — Published by Dr. Gabriella Korosi, at Dancing Elephant Press. Click here for submission guidelines.