INSPIRATION | SELF-LOVE
Do You Know What’s Lurking Behind Your Anger?
Here are approaches to curb it before it completely dominates you
“So, you think you can hurt me with your anger? I think its the other way around. I tell you, all my life, I have known that defying someone to be in command over my emotions is a sign of emotional intelligence.” — Josh Balerite Acol
Anger is a healthy human emotion that can be experienced by anyone.
It is just normal to be angry especially when you are in disheartening and infuriating situations.
However, it is in how the way it is expressed, that it can be destructive or constructive.
Most of the time, it is perceived as a negative emotion, when it can’t be controlled because this leads to harm and danger.
As a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt says,
“Anger is just one letter away from DANGER.”
On the positive side, if expressed in an unharmful way, anger can be beneficial. It is a kind of ‘fight-flight response to a dangerous situation we are in.
Anyone can have all the right resources to have his or her anger be tamed. It just depends upon the person how he is able to cope with it.
As Aristotle said:
“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”
Here are proven ways to do if you feel angry and thinks you can’t control it:
- Ease yourself. Nobody can do it but only you.
I don’t know about you but for me, when I feel angry I focus first on what I feel at the moment. Being mindful of what state I am in without judgment brings me total awareness.
Practicing mindfulness, doing yoga, meditation, or visualization when you find yourself in a temperamental moment are some of the ways you can develop greater self-awareness.
This helps you find ways in what to do next. This will also establish another way to face rage-inciting moments in a dissociated manner.
2. Relax your breathing.
As you can see, when you are angry, your heart and breathing rapidly increase. Take a moment to pause and do diaphragmatic breathing.
While you take a deep breath, place your hand on your breast and the other one on top of your belly. Here, you can determine if you are doing it the right way. Both rise and inflate as you breathe.
Can you feel yourself slowly unruffling? There, that’s what I am telling you dear One! This helps to make you think clearly.
3. Observe yourself closely how you respond to anger
Do you express your anger through yelling, bullying another, or worst aggressively like throwing things, hurting others physically? This is called the outward expression of anger.
Or do you express it inwardly through cursing or punishing yourself by being silent? Yet, deep inside you are having pent-up emotions. Suppressing it becomes a potent bomb ready to explode hurting yourself more.
4. Restructure the way you think about things and events
This method called cognitive reframing was introduced by Aaron Temkin Beck in the 1960s. He aided his depressed patients to rethink their negative thoughts in a positive way to lessen their anxiety and depression.
Through this method, any destructive thoughts can be viewed differently to enhance positive self-talk. You may do this with a mental health professional, with a friend, or independently.
Each one of us has an inner critic who always talks negatively or positively like an angel or a devil. What you can do is befriend your ego and ask him questions, why he is saying stressful thoughts.
Soon, you’ll find routes to stop your disagreeable self, boost an enhanced peace and self-control.
5. Identify the things that make you angry
There are many factors that trigger our temper — the people around us, family, coworkers, friends, events, and situations.
Sometimes other causes are psychological reasons that affect your mental health. When these pop up, you may consult and talk to your physician, more so, if it affects the way you go with your activities regularly.
If you can openly discuss this with your doctor, he may recommend medications or psychotherapy procedures.
As the experts say, anger can be a boon or a detriment. It is in the way how we handle it that it becomes constructive or destructive.
So, come on, don’t be embarrassed you are having it. Show it to others. Talk it out!
Anger is just normal and talking it out and discussing with someone corrects the wrong that has been done, or having to meet your unanswered demands.
How about you? What are the reasons behind your anger?
How do you acknowledge it? Is it through a devastating way or a productive attitude?
This is my fourth-day post for Doc Chief Dr Mehmet Yildiz’s 100-Day Challenge for New Writers:
I would like to thank and tag the instigator of this writing feat, Doc Chief Dr Mehmet Yildiz, and my amazing writer friends, dear Bhav, Bhavna Narula, pretty doc Dr. Preeti Singh, Doc Fam Dr. Fatima Imam, Sahil Patel, Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她), Ntathu Allen and Keno Ogbo.
Thanks a million for dropping by! Be safe and well ever.
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