Do You Have It, or Does It Have You?

Seeing the invisible!

In my life, I have found some truths to be extremely important to my overall growth. Some very intelligent people study something called Constructive Developmental Theory, often referred to as Adult Development Theory — Erikson, Levinson, Keagan et.al.

Adult Development can open your understanding in tremendous ways.

While studying Adult Development, something called Subject-Object Theory leaped out to me. Understanding this theory greatly enhances your ability to “see” the unseen.

In a nutshell, when you are subject to something, you are unaware of it. It is such an integral part of you, you’re unable to see it. It’s hidden beneath your consciousness. Sometimes, this can be good. For example, you are subject to the process that allows you to breathe. That’s a good thing, as you normally don’t want to think about breathing and prefer it just happen.

When something is object to you, you can see it, think about, and examine it, at least in part. Seeing it allows you to more objectively look at and understand it. You can stand back, reflect, and ask questions about it.

- When you are subject to it, it has you (controls you).

- When it is object to you, you have it (you control it).

In the example of breathing (an autonomic process), you are most often subject to it. However, it can be made object. When I run hard, I pay attention to and control my breathing. When I’m under stress, I catch myself breathing shallowly and correct it by taking a few deep breaths. When I focus careful attention on breathing in a mindful way, I can create a great calmness within myself.

Simply put:

- When I am subject to something, it is in my unconscious mind and is unseen.

- When something becomes object to me, it is in my conscious mind and can be seen.

It goes from being invisible to visible. I move from being blind to it, to becoming enlightened about it.

When I began doing triathlons, I started to swim freestyle. I had to learn to consciously control my breathing. Water in the lungs isn’t fun. Eventually, I was able to swim and breathe more automatically, but this did not happen without much practice.

Before I understood a profit and loss statement, I had little control over the business. Once I was able to understand the profit and loss statement as a tool (an object) I gained control over it.

The same can be said for a personal budget if you have one. You can control your spending, making it object to you, or you can let your spending control you, being subject to it. If you ever ask, “Where does all my money go?” you are likely subject to your spending.

You can take control over what you become conscious of.

Here’s something interesting, over time what we control can be made to happen automatically. Habits are one example, as are skills such as playing an instrument.

Think about the parts of yourself — internal voices, and self-defeating, self-imposed, self-limiting beliefs. Perhaps you have never thought about or heard of them before, and in this case, you are likely subject to them. Once they have been exposed and you can see them, you can think about them and make them object (put them under your control).

Wouldn’t you be better off moving from a position of unawareness to seeing them? To be able to act on them, rather than them doing their act on you. This major shift occurred in my life and continues to progress. For years, I did not realize how invisible things held me back, greatly affecting my behavior, the amount of stress I put on myself, my confidence, and so much more.

When my eyes were opened to the concept making the invisible visible through subject-object theory, I began to change dramatically. For the first time in my life, I began seeing things I had no idea existed.

For example, as I thought about my critical inner voices and came to understand them, they ceased to control me. Literally, many of my thoughts, to which I was once subject, became object to me.

When something becomes object, you can do something about it. You can reflect, think, question, and act. Will your results change when this happens? You bet!

When you make just one self-limiting belief object to you, you create real change in your life. Then repeat it as many times as needed, in as many areas of your life as needed. It’s the simplest and most powerful way to change the trajectory of your life.

As the old saying goes, “Success begets success.” With each success you build on making the invisible visible, more successes will certainly follow!

I challenge you to give subject-object theory serious thought. Decide to bring one thing to the surface, make it visible, and change your life trajectory!

©2020 BillAbbate.com

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