Do I Need to Check-In With My AP?

Call me maybe.

I’d love to wake up to this message: “You are so fucking sexy. I want to kiss all of your sleep away and wake you my way. The right way. Good morning, sexy.”

I often wake up to a short “good morning” note.

If I wake up to a note at all. Sometimes the first message doesn’t come in until late morning or lunchtime.

Why do we check-in? Adulterers frequently say that term. Make sure to check-in. Check on how your affair partner is doing. Check this.

Check that.

Doesn’t that sound like something you do for your car? “Oh, the check engine light is on. Must do something about that”.

Obligatory. A must-have. If you don’t, you could lose your only set of wheels. So you take care of it.

Check-in messages for your AP are like that. You take care of it, or you lose your only set of FEELS.

My new friend, AlmostFreeBird, is fed up with this term and way of thinking.

Like me, he’s relatively new to cheating, less than a year. His kids are almost grown, and he’s counting down the days to empty nest. He can host. Hmmm, potential affair partner indeed.

He and I talk about making time for affairs. We both agree that you make the time in your schedule and be able to meet up. We both want more than a short quip back when they reply.

He wants to actually talk and communicate with an AP. He wants to hear what she has to say.

“Why do we call it to check-in anyway. Everyone keeps saying you have to “check-in. Yes, chatting takes time and effort. Go to the bathroom or garage and do a quick “hey sexy” message. Makes you feel great. Def not a check.”

He wants to feel desired, cared for, and wanted. Not because his partner feels they should say hi.

Two and half days after his sweet good morning message, he finally received a response message. His note was lovely and caring and just made you swoon. It was a “Wet your panties when you’re not wearing any” note. His AP sent this reply: “Sup?”

Wow. That is harsh. No emotion. No care. It’s literally three letters of NOTHING. I hope he kicked her to the curb. She doesn’t deserve him.

Still, a check-in has its uses.

He continues, “A check-in is something you do for a spouse or girlfriend to let them know you’re okay. Or that you got the milk. The boys invited me out for poker, so I’m gone for the night.”

He’s right. That is what you do with a spouse. You notify the SO so they don’t worry or don’t ask.

“Your affair partner needs MORE. This is the person you think about when you wake up and go to bed. You wonder if they had that massage they so needed, so you ask. You found a funny meme they had to see, so you sent it.

You show her you think about her. Care about what she’s doing. Want to make her feel good. It’s more than a fucking check-in.”

Why doesn’t everyone do this? It sounds amazing. Chatting, so you actually carry each other thru the day?

That is a partnership, and that is an affair.

Not an obligation.

Something to talk about!