Confident, Attractive, Psychology

Do and Don’t to Be More Confident and Attractive

Confidence is not “they will like me”. Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t”.

What do you think confident means? for me confidence means I trust myself for many particular reasons. Once I got an obstacle in life, I believe I can handle it. Once I get along with society, I trust myself I can bring myself well. Once I decide on one decision, I trust that decision I made at the time is the best choice for me. Once I get dressed, I believe it’s not against the norm and comfortable for me. What triggers me is, that some people think confidence appears from some accomplishment from other people As if confidence should only be owned by people who are good-looking and have many privileges. As a matter of fact that confidence is everyone’s right including you. It is already in you from the first place but not everyone knew how to bring it up. Usually, people who have good self-confidence look more attractive in the eyes of others and I totally agree about it.

Confidence is a very broad meaning that can be viewed from various perspectives. Here are the do’s and don’ts to help you keep being confident in everyday life.

Within You

Confidence is actually closely related to how you build a connection with yourself. It’s that not easy because there are many incidents that make us insecure in the middle of the journey. But hopefully, some points below will help you to deal with that

#1 Self Discovery

Do :

Explore

Finding yourself doesn’t just happen automatically. You need to “look for” until you found it. The goal of the journey is not about finding what you like but finding what you don’t like is important too.

#2 Curiosity

Having great curiosity is the basic key we need as human beings. So much interesting stuff we can learn to develop ourselves or just catch up with what’s happening out there. The more you learn, the more you fit with various backgrounds and you understand them. After that, you will have a very good positioning ability where this skill cannot be obtained just by reading.

#3 Self-love

Love yourself during the journey of self-discovery. Many things out here that potentially make you down but whether destiny from god or humiliation from others promise yourself not to be one of them.

Don’t

#1 Stuck with one passion

Perhaps you can be very specialized in the specific thing but I believe it’s not the only one. You may agree or not, but for me being stuck with one passion is really boring. You have 24 hours, and there’s a lot out there for you to explore even if you decide you’re really good at one area. You only live once, I think it is deeply regretted if you limit your experience to one area.

#2 Need other validation

Sometimes we prefer to choose the path that most people take not because we really want that choice but because we are too afraid that a different path than most is the wrong path. In my opinion, there is no right or wrong in making decisions. All of them have benefits and risks that we must accept. You don’t need other people’s validation to convince yourself the decision is right because the answer lies within you if you will listen to your heart.

#3 Take yourself for granted

It’s hurt when someone takes you for granted but can you imagine if you do to yourself? I’ve done it too and that’s the big mistake I’ve ever done to myself. You work hard, try with all your might, and sacrifice everything to achieve what you want. How can you then shower yourself with insults and humiliation and then label yourself as bad? Don’t kill the lion within you by underestimating yourself. You will regret it because you are the most valuable thing you ever had.

The confidence from within is the very basic thing we need to have before we jump into another area.

What is Spoken

How do you communicate? Are you clear and assertive enough to make your point? Or do you prefer to soften the sentence so that other people don’t get hurt? Whether you are outspoken or diplomatic, everyone has their own way of communicating. But there are some things you can and shouldn’t do

Do:

#1 Be honest with yourself

I personally prefer an assertive and clear way of communication but using a more diplomatic language is also not wrong as long as the meaning of the words is not ambiguous.

#2 Respect

It’s okay to be different as long as we can respect others the way we need to be respected. It’s not only us who don’t like to be judged, other people are the same. It’s okay that your decision is different, you are the one who knows the considerations. It’s okay for other people to choose the path that you think is wrong, they have their own considerations. You can give advice but really can’t force it.

#3 Hold your promise

I hate people who easily make a promise just to comfort not because they really mean it. If they think it can be comforting, they are wrong because to me it hurts more. I feel cheated and disrespected. But what hurts more is when we break our promises to ourselves. The feeling of being toyed with by myself leaves low self-esteem afterward and long enough to recover and believe in me again.

Don’t

#1 Being people pleasure

The worst thing is when you lie to yourself just to please others. Because at the time you did it, you hurt yourself more and more every day. After all, we will never be able to please everyone, the name of life is that there are people who don’t like it, and there are those who don’t agree, even to the point of blaspheming. But their validation is not what you need to do what you want.

#2 Double-faced

If people pleaser lying because they’re afraid to hurt others. Double face more to lick and pretend to like someone because he or she is influential and has the potential to give you an advantage in the future. I believe we can build networking relations and be healthier with speak up about what we agree and disagree even with influencer groups. Expressing a different opinion will not lead to an argument, it will make a new discussion more interesting. But even if there is a fight even though you only have an opinion without forcing it, that person doesn’t deserve to be in your life no matter how potent they are.

Appearance

Don’t get me wrong, this absolutely not related to physical attractiveness. But all the aura that is formed inside you will radiate from your physical appearance which is also a determinant of someone’s first impression of you.

Do

#1 Eat healthy food

Beauty experts maintain their diet by eating lots of vegetables and fruits and avoiding fried or oily foods. Yes, some food takes an influence on your skin health too but just think all of them are bonus. Eat with balanced nutrition makes your body healthier so, You can move in a fit, which of course increases your confidence too.

#2 Exercise

It’s the same as eating healthy food and exercising so that your body is healthy, not because there is a specific weight goal. A healthy lifestyle by itself forms a fairly ideal portion of the body, but your health is still the most important.

#3 Skincare

I ever think skincare is only for beauty purposes but it’s not true because there are many potential diseases that can arise if you don’t take care of them properly like cancroid, acnes, etc. In the end, it is not only ugly to look at but also makes us uncomfortable.

#4 Comfortable Outfit

Looks fashionable is good as long as it still makes you comfortable to wear. Do it for yourself because fashion is about how you look but more than that is about how you feel.

Don’t

#1 Eat Impulsively

I’m not a person who really can maintain eat healthy food. This part is honestly something that I need to improve on. There are many food temptations that I still can’t resist. Just recently my stomach feels bad after several times eating instant noodles. Not only is it unhealthy, but it also makes my stomach a little distended which of course affects my self-confidence.

#2 Follow the Trend

Whether it’s the style of dress, make-up, food, or whatever. Don’t do it if it’s just because it’s trending and viral. You are cooler by being yourself. It doesn’t mean that following trends is wrong, what’s wrong is just following trends just for the sake of content or so that they are not considered outdated. No matter how good the style is, if you feel uncomfortable within yourself, it doesn’t make you confident, it makes you feel inferior.

Final Thought

At the end of the day, confidence appears when you accept yourself and never hesitate to be yourself. External factors are only complementary because most of them are present within you.

If you’d like to join Medium and get paid to blog, here’s my affiliate link which you can use to get started.