Difficult Conversations Can Have an Easy Approach
A different perspective with practical advice
Difficult conversations are something we all dread. We don’t want to ruin our relationship with someone and then live in a world that seems so slow and hard. These conversations are inevitable but they don’t have to be so dreadful.
How to deal with difficult conversations
Body Language
Be genuinely curious about what the other person is saying. Just keep this idea in your mind: There are 7.8 billion different perspectives in the world, and it only seems fair to listen to other’s views of the world.
When the conversation does arise, it seems difficult to keep these ideas in mind so the practical implementation would be to visualize yourself, ahead of time, genuinely listening to someone. Then, embody that body language, whatever it may look for you, in the difficult conversation coming up.
A great practical tip to implement is mirroring and labeling the other person. This makes you seem more curious, and you will genuinely feel more interested in no time. Mirroring means repeating the last three to four words of their statement as a question. Labeling means making an assumption based on the data they have given you. For example:
A: I really like bananas but I hate oranges.
B(mirroring): You hate oranges?
A: I helped my mom the other day, got home, and then took care of my baby brother.
B(labeling): Seems like you really care about your family.
This way, you can break the ice of a difficult conversation with the other person.
The person is innocent
A very small but effective tip: The thing you are avoiding to deal with is the conversation with the person, not the person themself. Hence, your relationship with them doesn’t have to be damaged.
Your emotions
When you have a difficult conversation, it is usually to open up about something you were hiding from someone else. So you are bound to be surprised, and there might be a roller coaster of emotions.
If you go into the conversation, being open to all new confessions, and just remembering that it’s ok to be surprised, you will be much more emotionally controlled.
To sum up, the next time you go into a difficult conversation:
- Be interested in the other person’s perspective by using your body language.
- Remember it's the situation that is your enemy, not the person you are conversing with.
- Not lt your emotions get in the way by taking deep breaths and using silences whenever you need them.
And get the meaning out of the word “difficult”. It is just a term that makes it easier to understand that we are talking about a conversation we want to avoid. No need to take the meaning of this word to heart or think of it as the truth of these uncomfortable conversations.
Go for it! You can do it!
Sincerely,
Writer D.
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