Demystifying 3 Most Common Misconceptions About Meditation

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“How do you meditate? Do you see something in your mind’s eye when you close your eyes? Do I have to stop thinking? What do you ‘do’ in meditation? ” I think different people see/experience different things when they close their eyes. I would not let you worry about what you see. And no, you don’t have to stop thinking completely. It’s not possible because it’s the nature of the mind to have thoughts and to think. The way to make meditation work for you is to focus on your breathing and simply observe it. Doing so naturally slows down your breath as well as your endless stream of thoughts. Of course, you’ll get distracted by your thoughts. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad meditator. It’s very normal. Simply bring your attention back to your breath, and do your best to prolong holding your attention to your breath. That’s it. There will come a point when you will have a minimal number of thoughts during which you can experience stillness inside you. Your only job is to stay witness to that. You have to just ‘be’ and not ‘do’ anything.</p><h2 id="a8f8">3. You don’t have to control your emotions</h2><p id="82d9">You must have heard different quotes from famous people on controlling your emotions. While there may be an ounce of truth in their statement, what they mean is this — You have to not be controlled by your emotions. It is through meditation that you understand yourself better. It’s very common for people to ignore their emotions, especially when they are uncomfortable in nature. There are industries dedicated to helping you distract yourself instantly so that you have the illusion that you’re feeling better. Of course those addictions disguised as distractions last momentarily. Until you actually take the time to unpack those uncomfortable emotions and witness them, they have control over you whether you know it or not. Each time you are ignoring them with distractions immediately available to you. This is your behavior. Think about this — how is it that you’re not being controlled by your emotions? You are, because you’

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re acting upon them to ignore them as much as possible.</p><p id="e5c9">Now, if you want to have real control over emotions, I’d say don’t control them at all. Control yourself instead by disciplining yourself to observe your emotions like waves in the ocean. By disciplining yourself with the practice of observing your negative emotions as opposed to unconsciously reacting to them, you overcome them. You develop a deeper understanding of yourself when your unconscious behaviors become conscious. When this happens, your emotions lose their control over you.</p><p id="1007">This <a href="https://bit.ly/3xsGNep">guided meditation</a> facilitates being a witness with the help of visualization. The more you practice, the better you get at observing until it becomes a way of life for you.</p><p id="3928">Chapter 6 of my upcoming book <a href="https://nehasonney.com/wiredforselflove">Wired for Self-love</a> expands on the power of meditation. Sign up to get your copy for 0.99 cents when it gets launched on 29th November.</p><h1 id="00d3">About the Author</h1><p id="8dab">I’m an author, writer, speaker and coach. I share my insights and wisdom from practicing meditation for over nine years. My book — <a href="https://www.amazon.com/WIRED-SELF-LOVE-Strategies-Unshakeable-Confidence-ebook/dp/B09MMX1Y8J/">WIRED FOR SELF-LOVE</a> is now available on Amazon.</p><div id="e2f3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/introducing-the-mess-with-a-message-902b8254ca69"> <div> <div> <h2>Introducing — The Mess With A Message</h2> <div><h3>Neha Sonney is the author of the #1 bestselling book Wired For Self-Love: 11 Strategies To Free Yourself From Your…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*m48iQ6grhx2OgSg6bsQSuw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Is meditation actually helpful? Does it help you control your thoughts and emotions? What do you ‘do’ in meditation?

Before I start talking about meditation, I’d like to let you know this: No one in my family or anyone close ever meditated or talked about it. The person who told me about this was a practicing Buddhist who worked at an international school I was teaching yoga at. But she never imposed any of her beliefs on me. She was friendly, gentle, soft spoken and all she did was help me get started on my journey, so she sent me a guided meditation. She also lent me her precious books on wisdom by Deepak Chopra and Osho. I’m indebted to her.

I come across these misconceptions about meditation too often in my research as well as interactions with people. I understand there’s extensive research on as well as skepticism around it. All I’d say is practice it long enough to find out for yourself. In this article I will share with you my understanding of meditation that came from my practice alone.

1. Meditation has got nothing to do with religion.

Sure, the person who shared about meditation with me is a Buddhist. But she is also an educated open-minded woman who has travelled and lived in countries she was not native to. She speaks three foreign languages. I don’t even want you to believe anything unless you start practicing meditation yourself. All you do to begin meditating is close your eyes and focus on your breath. There are no gods or goddesses involved.

2. You don’t have to force-stop your thoughts. You can allow for it to happen naturally

I often get asked — “How do you meditate? Do you see something in your mind’s eye when you close your eyes? Do I have to stop thinking? What do you ‘do’ in meditation? ” I think different people see/experience different things when they close their eyes. I would not let you worry about what you see. And no, you don’t have to stop thinking completely. It’s not possible because it’s the nature of the mind to have thoughts and to think. The way to make meditation work for you is to focus on your breathing and simply observe it. Doing so naturally slows down your breath as well as your endless stream of thoughts. Of course, you’ll get distracted by your thoughts. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad meditator. It’s very normal. Simply bring your attention back to your breath, and do your best to prolong holding your attention to your breath. That’s it. There will come a point when you will have a minimal number of thoughts during which you can experience stillness inside you. Your only job is to stay witness to that. You have to just ‘be’ and not ‘do’ anything.

3. You don’t have to control your emotions

You must have heard different quotes from famous people on controlling your emotions. While there may be an ounce of truth in their statement, what they mean is this — You have to not be controlled by your emotions. It is through meditation that you understand yourself better. It’s very common for people to ignore their emotions, especially when they are uncomfortable in nature. There are industries dedicated to helping you distract yourself instantly so that you have the illusion that you’re feeling better. Of course those addictions disguised as distractions last momentarily. Until you actually take the time to unpack those uncomfortable emotions and witness them, they have control over you whether you know it or not. Each time you are ignoring them with distractions immediately available to you. This is your behavior. Think about this — how is it that you’re not being controlled by your emotions? You are, because you’re acting upon them to ignore them as much as possible.

Now, if you want to have real control over emotions, I’d say don’t control them at all. Control yourself instead by disciplining yourself to observe your emotions like waves in the ocean. By disciplining yourself with the practice of observing your negative emotions as opposed to unconsciously reacting to them, you overcome them. You develop a deeper understanding of yourself when your unconscious behaviors become conscious. When this happens, your emotions lose their control over you.

This guided meditation facilitates being a witness with the help of visualization. The more you practice, the better you get at observing until it becomes a way of life for you.

Chapter 6 of my upcoming book Wired for Self-love expands on the power of meditation. Sign up to get your copy for 0.99 cents when it gets launched on 29th November.