Delicate Contemplation Isn’t Always Easy

Looking on the bright side can help

“Winter, a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark upon a sentimental journey, and enjoy every idle hour.”

– John Boswell

I envision myself at a retreat buried deep in the snow while intensely focused on thoughts from this past year.

Peaceful reflections might get a little bumpy at times. These past couple of years have been somewhat of a blur. I guess maybe that’s a coping mechanism.

Regardless, I just woke up from a long winter’s slumber. I would love to share the many blessings of this past year.

Although, first, I must pour myself a cup of intense coffee. Would you like a cup? All I need now is my blanket and journal.

As I grip my pen firmly, I know, at times, I will need my blanket to soothe the pain. With joy comes many moments of pain along the way. I know I’m not alone. There isn’t a person who hasn’t been there before.

Reflection to me is like glancing in the review mirror. I believe this is what has kept me from completely crashing along this long, icy, snow-covered path. I’m only going to take a quick peek today. Getting stuck in the past isn’t always a good thing. I believe living in the present moment is truly a gift in this lifetime.

Our past makes us who we are. It chisels us into the person we are meant to be. But just as a chisel is used to chip away at the rock to create a beautiful masterpiece, so too does our pain. Our pain forces us to become the person we are after a hardship. We’re never the same, and usually, we are stronger.

We suffer many losses as we go about our days. Every night as we lay our heads on our pillows, we have yet another day gone, or is it gained?

Reflection on this past year brings me great joy as I think about my birthday this past February. It was like no other. Honestly, I say this because it was just another day. I wouldn’t say I like to make a big deal about my birthday. However, what always makes my birthday special is the time with my family and the cake. My favorite is a wedding cake with buttercream frosting.

Something else that sticks out to me is my son being home for remote learning. He is seventeen, and I feel fortunate to have had those extra months with him at home. I know he will soon be away from home and on his own. The thought of that makes me hug my blanket a little tighter today.

After Easter break, my son headed back to school to join the other teenagers hiding their youthful ache behind the hundreds of surgical masks. It was hard to let him go, but he was vaccinated. I also know how he takes wearing a mask seriously. So, this was a sign to us that the world was beginning to open back up again.

“Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence.

Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance.

Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence.

Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”

– Yoko Ono

As my son settled into a routine again, my husband continued to apply for jobs as an Art Director. We felt fortunate to surprise our son with a trip to Florida in June for summer break. We had a fantastic journey together. It was like a dream come true.

My summer started with a bang as I escorted my mom to Montana to visit my sister and her family. We had a blast. My nephew graduated high school, and we celebrated with them at his graduation party.

Everyone had so much fun – even my mom, who has lost some of her vision due to mini-strokes. Everyone even smoked some cigars, including my mom. She was blowing smoke rings but claimed she barely ever smoked before. I, on the other hand, would have gladly smoked anything but cigars. Yuck!

This year I had two beautiful trips and several short campouts. Our family shack brings my heart many moments of peace and gratitude. It’s a place of many enjoyable family memories. I consider it my happy place.

“Just for a moment, amid all the bad stuff, this was a happy place again.”

– Caroline Green

In peaceful reflection of this year, I begin to cry as my soul pours out onto my journal pages. Every day is new with fresh opportunities, yet my husband continues to search for employment as his unemployment ends.

Luckily, he began driving a truck that lasted about a month and a half. At least we had some income coming in. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it didn’t work out, and my husband just started a warehouse job. It’s sad to watch my husband struggle to find work in the field he went to college for. It’s as if a degree means nothing anymore.

In the meantime, I am a caretaker for my mom, grandson, and my son. I’m grateful for my relationship with my daughter. We have a lot of fun together. She honestly keeps me young.

We discovered watercolor painting together this past year. One of my goals for the new year is to paint every day for at least ten minutes. We even poured a few homemade candles. Unfortunately, the wicks still need a little extra work. Therefore, the candles will be another project for the future.

My husband and I remain faithful to each other and to God through our challenging times in life.

In reflection, our past year seems like a whiteout, and in no time, the snow will soon melt away, and beautiful green pastures will appear. Before long, we will be reflecting yet again on another year.

Thank you, Trista, for your fantastic prompt of Peaceful Reflection, and I’m grateful for another year.

Thank you, Trista Signe Ainsworth, for your creative publication, Thank You Notes.

Please enjoy my happy place while working play into your life: