Inspiration and Life
Delay to Win in Your Life
Choices that can make a huge difference
So many desires exist in our modern world, is it any wonder we have less peace today? When you can have virtually anything you want, as many can in today’s society, you miss out on the uniqueness lack creates.
The problem with getting what we want is our loss of freedom. How can you lose freedom when you can have anything you want? Read on to learn more about this dichotomy.
“Freedom from desire leads to inner peace.” Laozi (6th-5th century BC)
What you own owns you
How different would life be if we were free from the many desires of the modern world? Imagine the freedom from being owned by so many things.
There is an old saying, “what we own owns us.” Give that phrase a little thought, and you will see how much sense it makes. Whatever you own requires time, attention, and resources regardless of what “it” is.
Look at the amount of time, attention, and money owning a home, car, boat, or another high-ticket item requires. The same is true for the least expensive, seemingly insignificant thing you own. Take dinnerware, for example. While it serves a great purpose, you must buy a set or individual pieces. Then you must take time and use water and energy to clean them, have room to store them, and spend the time necessary to make all of this happen.
Because you own them, they own you by demanding some of your time, attention, and resources.
Can you think of anything you own that does not take at least one or more of the three: time, attention, and resources? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Unruly desire
With anything and everything available online today, I wonder how long it will be until a dedicated key is added to keyboards for “purchase now!” If we do that, we may need to make the “delete” key much larger to help some of us.
Can you imagine living a life where your desires do not control you, but you control your desires? That could certainly bring you a life with fewer regrets!
I’m not always a fan of delayed gratification; most people aren’t. But we live in a society of instant access. With credit cards, we can buy on a whim. With fast food, we can order and eat within minutes. With online shopping, virtually anything we want is available to be delivered to our home in a day and sometimes the same day!
If you were to travel back a mere two hundred years, choices were extremely limited compared to today. And that includes the wealthiest people on earth, including every King, Queen, Emperor, Czar, or Sultan. Yet here we are today with the average person having virtually unlimited choices.
Gratification
The thoughts behind delaying gratification are easy to grasp yet hard to do. It takes more than a superficial knowledge of the concept.
Unless there is a deep understanding of what is important to you and a compelling reason to influence how you make decisions, what’s to stop you? It’s far too easy to go for the immediate. But we know not delaying can affect the long term in a significant way.
Am I saying you should put off everything in life? Of course not. We must be reasonable, and there are times when it may be appropriate to indulge, but doing so too often can be detrimental.
“At times it is folly to hasten, at other times, to delay. The wise do everything in its proper time.” Ovid (43 BC — 17/18 AD)
Better understanding yourself, your wants, and your needs will help with these decisions. What is needed is to carefully weigh the more essential things in life and consider the long-term impact of your choices. Prioritize what is most important first instead of treating it as an afterthought.
I’ll continue to enjoy my ice cream and hobbies and do many other things, thank you. But rarely at the expense of taking care of my deepest, long-term needs.
Let’s examine two areas everyone will be better off by delaying or putting off their more immediate desires that affect most of life — wealth and health. We will also look at the single most important thing that affects everyone.
Wealth
Wealth means many things to different people, but most will agree that money represents one form of wealth. You are wealthy by most standards if you have enough to live on and are not in need.
Wouldn’t it be great to retire one day and not worry about money? Practically anyone can do it if they learn to live within their means and keep their spending habits under control, which requires managing your desires.
A good example of managing desires is saving for retirement. Why should someone in their twenties or thirties worry about retirement? After all, they’re young and have their entire life ahead of them. Right? They can live for now with no end in sight or mind. “I’ll worry about the future later,” they say. That is one way to look at it, but it is a trap!
“Wealth is the slave of a wise man. The master of a fool.” Seneca the Younger (c. 4 BC-65 AD)
Most people in my generation of baby boomers will continue working well into their seventies and beyond. Considering the average lifespan of a male is seventy-six, it’s a bit of a predicament, leading to the expectation of working oneself “to death.”
Yet, those who saved and consistently invested even a small part of their income since they were young will have far easier lives and less worry as they age. Why not delay purchasing some of the more expensive items, such as vehicles and larger homes, so you can comfortably retire?
A great piece of advice a friend once gave me was: “You can only save what you don’t spend.” He’s so right!
Health
Another area to keep under control by delaying is your health. What is life if you don’t have good health? It is far too easy to give in to what our bodies crave, such as unhealthy foods, large portions, highly processed yet tasty foods, and snacks. I beg you, don’t do it!
“In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties.” Henri Frederic Amiel (1821–1881)
Not delaying the immediate gratification of bad food choices can lead to heavy consequences later. What is your health worth? Better yet, what is your life worth?
You have only one body, one life, on this earth, so why do so many let their cravings destroy it?
Is it a lack of self-control and self-discipline? Since you alone are responsible for what you put in your mouth, the answer is obvious.
The cumulative effect of not paying attention to what you eat will consume the time, attention, and resources referred to earlier and produce the good or bad consequences of your choices.
The Most Important Thing in Life
Cars, homes, our health, and other material things are important — yet what about the one thing everyone possesses equally but spends differently?
You spend every second of every day, and while you cannot delay spending it, what you spend it on is of supreme importance.
Yes, we are talking about time.
“You may delay, but time will not.” Benjamin Franklin (1706–1790)
While you cannot save time, you can choose where and what you spend it on. Spending too much time on one thing, such as work, will cost you elsewhere. Often that elsewhere is in relationships.
But there is a different way to look at time. Instead of “spending” time, why not “invest” it?
You can make a “good living” by investing enough time in your work.
You can also make a “good life” by investing enough time in your relationships. Especially the time you invest with your spouse and family.
Consider this — what will be with you after you retire, your work or your family? What will matter more when you are in your final days, work or family?
You essentially have three options as to how you invest your time. You can spend time creating material wealth, relational wealth, or both. Of course, if you do both equally, you will need to be one of those fortunate few that can do it well.
For most of us, trying to build material wealth and relationships equally will come at a cost. We will likely do one or the other better or may do both poorly. Only you can decide what is acceptable for you. A good conversation to have with your spouse and children, don’t you think?
The split in your time will rarely be 50:50. During my working years, my time leaned heavily toward working at least five days a week. For the remaining two days, it leaned heavily toward my family.
The main thing to think about when it comes to spending and investing your time is don’t lose the importance of relationships. They are essential to living a good life.
Final thoughts
What will you choose to delay on to win at life? Why not think seriously about what you can put off today that will add to tomorrow? Whatever you choose, make sure the delays will make a difference.
The way I see it, you have at least two choices going forward. You can choose the path of more immediate gratification with little thought of the future, or you can choose the path of delaying and investing to improve it.
May you make the right choice and never regret it!
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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION
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