Dedicated to.. | Chapter 8: Cry Baby // Childhood Trauma
A Collection of Short Stories on the Flower That Grew From Concrete
I didn’t have a troubled childhood, but I was troubled.
The men in our family rarely cried. I was the emotional one, unstable as a child. Consequently, I carried the cry baby label.
“Trey, stop crying.”
My favorite was always, “or, I’ll give you something to cry for.”
Everyone thought that I’d grow out of it.
I was a shy kid with a lanky frame. Uncomfortable in my own skin. My self-doubt often left me paralyzed. I rarely spoke unless spoken to. Even then, my answers were brief. I was a quiet kid, but my thoughts were loud. Although often dark, I found comfort in them because they made the outside world seem calm. I was a young kid who carried his demons with him. Hidden within the confines of his mind.
My family is worried about me.
They’re worried that they caused all of this.
I mean, they play a role, there’s definitely some lingering traumas from my childhood, but I don’t think they can be the sole blame.
It started when my Mom told my Dad that I was in therapy. I can hear his disapproval now, “Trey isn’t crazy. Why is he in therapy?!” That was a deeply held belief in our community. It wasn’t the first time I heard the accusation, and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last.
My family has a right to be worried, as I’ve finally opened up about some issues that I’ve concealed. Things I’ve been harboring to myself. Things that I haven’t shared with anyone, well, besides my therapist. I’ve had a hard time opening up to my closest friends about these things. I trust a select few, but there’s a fear of the stigmas that go along with mental illness.
Others have said I’m brave for seeking help, but I don’t feel like I am.
Most days, I feel like a fraud.
But I guess bravery comes in all different forms.
I guess this is a part of my healing journey. Everyone’s journey looks different, right?
(Epilogue)
I’ve learned that it’s okay to cry without shame. It’s okay to fully feel the entire spectrum of emotions. That’s how you let go, that’s how you heal. That’s how you become the authentic version of yourself.
DEDICATED TO..
is a collection of flash fiction short stories on the stages of life we grow through, the battle of youthfulness, and the transition into adulthood.