Debating Vice. Trust Me, I’m A Fucking Expert.

Hi ev’ry body!

I’m here to tell you how to win arguments and influence people.

What makes me an expert? Well you’re here reading this ain’t you?

We’re all leading very busy lives. Sometimes you haven’t got time, or sometimes you just can’t be arsed, to put in the hard graft to convince people about how passionate you are, and how authoritative you are, about a particular subject. Like what I did that time,

that time,

that time

and that time.

You know what you need? You need to write less and swear more.

After all less is more. Unless you’ve paid for an all you can eat buffet that is.

A well placed swear word is a short cut to an upper cut. Floor your enemies with your literary prowess.

Sun Tzu, the Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher once said, “Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across. Then tell them to fuck off.”

1st Person: No disrespect, but you do tend to swear a lot.

Me: I disagree. I don’t think I swear any more than the average person. I also don’t agree with how people say swearing is a sign of not enoughy wordy knowledge.

Anyway, Faith No More were right, ‘We Care A Lot, We Swear A Lot.’

Use any of these to show the world you are Chief Rocka:

Fucking White Liberals

Fucking Elites (Deploy this against anyone who earns more than you, which is pretty much everyone.)

Fucking Feminists

Fucking Hatt Mancock

Fucking Men

Fucking Climate Protestors (This is very personal to me. I wanted a future so I was very much into all that environmental stuff. Not any more.)

Fucking Tories

Fucking Strikers

Fucking Elon Musk

Fucking Diversity (Deploy this repeatedly, not because your have obsessive prejudices, but because you’re a champion of consistency.)

Fucking Boomers

Fucking World Cups

Fucking Trolls (Only deploy this when one person disagrees with you once.)

Fucking Neurotypicals

Fucking Millennials

Fucking Heteronormatives

Fucking White Feminists (because they all are innit)

Fucking Lack of Freedom of Speech to say there’s a Fucking Lack of Freedom of Speech

Fucking BBC Shaggers

Fucking Fuckers

1st Person: You see, you do swear a lot.

Me: I couldn’t give two shits. Get fucked.

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Special thanks to my girlfriend Hen.

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