Dear Xander: The Case of the Disgusting Pills.
A feline advice column for other felines.
Dear Xander is an advice column for feline readers. If you have a question for Xander, please leave it in the comments and he will answer in a future column.
Xander has been on vacation, which has caused his columns to be late two weeks in a row. He promises to get back to his Monday schedule… unless he has something better to do. He IS a cat. Allowances need to be made.
Dear Xander:
Our humans give us these awful pills that make us sick. We tried to spit them out but they hold our mouths until we swallow. My buddy wants to know why they give them to us but I want to know what we can do to stop it.
Grossed Out by Pills
Der GOBP:
There are a few different reasons why our humans give us bad tasting stuff. If these pills make you sick and your human is still giving them to you, there must be a good reason. I have noticed that humans don’t want to cause their felines pain or discomfort.
The why is difficult for me to know. Sometimes my human puts liquid in my ears. I hate that. After a while, I realized my ears seem less itchy after the liquid goes in there, though. I think that is why she puts it in there. I still fight holding still when I see the bottle though. A cat has pride.
The pills are probably doing something to help you. Think hard about how you felt before you started taking them. Do you feel any different now, compared to then?
As far as what to do, that is also hard. I know what you want is to stop taking the pills. That is an unrealistic goal unless you want to abandon your home the next time the door is open. I don’t recommend that. There are a lot of scary things that happen to felines out in the wild without a home to return to.
I advise leveraging the situation to increase the treat flow. Let your human know-how terrible these pills are. Make them feel the guilt. A lot of guilt. Stress the injustice. Then meow a little and walk over to wherever they keep your treats. Meow again.
After receiving a treat, make a big show of forgiving them for the unfortunate pill incident. That will make getting an extra treat easier the next time you have to swallow the evil pill. If you and your buddy do this, it will reinforce the habit of an extra treat.
Good luck. I hope you can get some good tasting treats out of this terrible experience.
Xander
Dear Xander:
Even though I am in our house a lot, I like to go outside. My humans lure me into the house with food and then won’t let me out all night long. What should I do? I want to spend the night outside.
Want to Go Outside
Dear WTGO:
This is rough. If you are like me, you want to make sure your food source is consistent and plentiful.
If you want to have dinner, you are going to have to accept that you can’t go outside. You can hide a little near the door and if your human opens it for some reason, you could try to sneak out. This won’t work forever. Your human will guard against this once you have been successful.
You may have to make peace with the idea that you can’t go out at night. It is possible your human is afraid of a predator out there at night.
Sometimes I talk to the outside cats that come into my yard. They tell of coyotes in the area they hide from. Their stories make me glad I am an inside only cat.
If you can’t get outside at night, find a comfortable area next to a window. That is what my buddy Anya and I do. We have a cat tree next to a window and a couch with a comfortable arm to lay on by another.
Our humans put a bird feeder next to one of the windows, so it is fun to watch the hummingbirds during the day. Check out any windows you have access to. Make the one with the best view yours.
Our humans eventually realized we have favorite spots in the house. They responded by putting soft blankets and pillows in them for us to lay on. Maybe your human will do that for you.
I hope this works. I know it isn’t the same as being outside, but those smells will still be there in the morning.
Xander
If you would like to read another of Xander’s articles, try this one:
