Dear Xander: Advice From A Feline Point of View
A New Kind of Advice Column
Welcome to my new advice column for indoor felines. Are you having trouble with your human? With other felines in the house? Or is your problem with something else? I can help. Let’s get started:
Dear Xander:
My human leaves papers and other stuff on the counter. Should I stay off the counter or jump up there anyway? There is a window that gets full sun in the afternoon and I really want to sit there.
Unhappy Counter Hopper
Dear UCH:
Your human is being very inconsiderate. Jump up onto that counter. Sometimes paper feels better than the counter to sit on. If you feel that way, curl up on it.
If the paper doesn’t feel good, you know what to do. You are a cat! Knock it onto the floor.
Yeah, your human will sigh and might say something about it. The thing is, your human knows you are a cat, too. What do cats do? Well, a lot of them knock stuff off tables and counters.
So be a cat. Make that counter your own.
I used to live outside and then my human brought me into the house. I like the house but now I can’t get outside. Ever. What do I do?
Stuck Inside Forever
Dear SIF:
I am an “only in the house” cat. I have never been free to roam outside the windows and doors of my house. I might have when I was a young kitten but I don’t remember it.
I see outside cats in the yard sometimes. They seem happy, but one of them keeps trying to get into my house. That is not ok.
If an outside cat wants to come into my house, the outside must not be perfect. You would know more about that than me.
You say you like the house. If you really do, you should make peace with never being able to sniff outside again. Just relax into your household routine.
If you prefer to be outside, I have a more radical solution. Wait until a visiting human is leaving the house. That is your best chance to run past them and be outside.
If you want to stay outside, you will need to run far away and give up your human and your house. I don’t advise this. Do you want to chase birds and rodents for dinner?
If you want a one-time trip outside, allow your human to catch up with you. Allow your human to carry you back to the house. Understand, if you take this route, your human will be on guard and you will be unlikely to make a run for it again. It is a one-time trip.
Only you can choose how you are going to live. Choose wisely.
That’s it for today. If you have any burning questions, please leave them in the comments and I will address them in a future column.
Thanks and have a purrrrfect day.
If you liked this, you may want to check out my list of tips for living in a two cat household:
