Dear Work: I Just Don’t Care

I’m Gen X and all I want is a paycheck.

It’s 10:00 pm on a Sunday.

This is peak procrastination. I didn’t get things done all week and I have deliverables for Monday. I kicked the can down the road and figured I’d get it all done on Sunday since I didn’t have the kids or plans.

Well…it’s Sunday. Here I am on Medium, procrastinating some more.

We Gen Xers are in a weird spot. Boomers have the cult of “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” with the security of pensions and fully-funded Social Security. I can subscribe to any cult if it’ll give me an affordable house and a cushy lifestyle on one income.

The generations after Gen X took our jaded attitudes and did something about it. Fuck buying overpriced homes. Fuck getting married and having 2.5 kids. Fuck staying at a miserable company that has no loyalty beyond a severance check.

Some people may say they’re woke snowflakes who don’t want to do real work. I disagree.

The people that think that are incapable of challenging old-school belief systems. It’s like when people have kids; they try convincing others that having kids is amaaaazing because it’s better to suck everyone into the misery. Yes, I love my kids to death, but it hasn’t been a walk in the park and I wouldn’t push anyone who was on the fence.

What’s the incentive for the next generation to follow the same rules? College is barely worth it and the cost of home vs. salaries is obscene.

I support you Millenials and Gen Z.

However, I can’t follow that path. That’s part of Gen X. We bemoan and complain. All we could do was point out the flaws and stop the cycle of mental trauma caused by Boomers. Moving beyond that? You’re asking too much. We invented grunge and supported Ellen coming out as the first openly-gay character on TV.

Don’t ask us to push for employee happiness and matcha smoothies. I can’t even handle boba; if I wanted to eat my drinks, I’d ask for pulp in my juice. We’re the gullible generation that fell for the myth that a 401k would be just fiiiiiiine for retirement.

Seriously, I hate working. I’m grateful I have a job and that I’ve got a relatively solid career that will allow me to scrounge for temp jobs in a pinch. But it’s boring. And it requires so much learning. So. Much. Learning. Don’t get me started on human interactions.

I’m in my forties. I’m a single mom with a mortgage. Working remotely while traveling the world sounds like my wet dream of employment. Even better, not working at all and just staying in is my employment money shot.

I don’t have any capability to make money off the things I enjoy and am inherently good at. At best editorial writing as I do on Medium would fill those criteria, excluding the previous grammatically-garbage sentence (ending a sentence with “good at” is a noob move).

Twenty-one years until I can withdraw from my financially-anemic retirement fund. I’m halfway through my career. It’s like running a marathon but at 13 miles I realize this whole thing sucks and I should have stayed at home watching a Sex and The City marathon.

My only purpose for working is to keep a roof over my kids’ heads and because I’m too much of a germaphobe to dumpster dive for dinner. Throwing a Molotov cocktail at my career isn’t an option.

This is the rambling of a woman chained to the basement drudges of employment. I know people are getting laid off; I’m fortunate to still get paid. I feel like I’m showing gratitude while getting paid to be punched in the face.

Being a Gen Xer is exhausting. Every day is a battle against the trauma caused by my immigrant, religious Boomer parents. I overcompensate by slathering compliments and affection on my kids.

If I’m expected to bridge the gap between the privileged Boomers and the struggling younger generations, then let me take loads of naps while simmering in my crankiness.