Gratitude

Dear Student Who Talked During Class and Rolled Your Eyes at Me

Thank you for teaching me empathy

Thank you for not caring about learning how to do research or write a college-level paper, but nonetheless showing up every day to talk to your friend while I was teaching the steps of researching and writing.

Thank you for not talking to your friend for the rest of class on the day I asked if I needed to separate the two of you. For the rest of the quarter, thank you for pausing your conversation when I looked your way.

Thank you for not bothering with the (required) preliminary assignments, then plagiarizing your final paper. When you received a zero on the paper, thank you for taking the time to explain that I was at fault for never teaching you anything.

Thank you for helping me understand, as a young teacher, not to take plagiarism personally. Thank you for showing me that it wasn’t about me.

Thank you for the daily practice in knowing how slow and calm I can keep my breathing.

Thank you for teaching me empathy. When I would drive home after class, I would wonder what was in your heart. Who disrespected you? Why did you push against someone as quiet as me?

I wondered if — and why — it made you feel better not to care.

I wrote this after reading a WriteHere prompt that says to write a thank you letter to someone who has given you something despite themselves. The prompt says “someone you despise,” and while despise isn’t a word I use about people, this letter thanks someone who was very challenging to me early in my career.

I appreciated the prompt because I’ve been working on the practice of gratitude in difficult situations, not just at times when gratitude comes easily. Below is a similar type of thank you to someone I lost as a friend but who taught me a lot.