Dear A.

Summary

The text is a personal and reflective thank you note addressed to a former friend, acknowledging the impact they had on the author's life through shared literary experiences, mentorship in public speaking and event organization, and the lasting impression of their friendship despite its eventual end.

Abstract

The author expresses gratitude to a former friend for a series of meaningful experiences and lessons. They reminisce about reading Frank O'Hara's poetry aloud together, shared breakfasts, and the friend's guidance in developing public speaking skills and event coordination. The narrative reveals a complex relationship, with the author moving from anger to a place of fondness, even after learning of the friend's death through a mutual acquaintance. The piece is also a meditation on the nature of friendship and how it can evolve over time, with the author drawing parallels between their relationship and the poetry of Frank O'Hara, as well as the iconic status of Lana Turner. The author concludes with a renewed appreciation for the friend, likening their enduring affection to the timeless allure of classic Hollywood's leading ladies.

Opinions

The author values the literary and artistic mentorship provided by the friend, including the joy of shared reading experiences.
There is an appreciation for the practical skills imparted by the friend, such as using a microphone and organizing events.
The author reflects on the friend's influence with a mix of nostalgia and a sense of loss, highlighting the importance of personal connections in artistic growth.
The author's perception of the friend's death and the subsequent realization of lingering affection suggests that relationships can maintain significance even after they have changed or ended.
The comparison of the friend to Lana Turner and the reference to Frank O'Hara's poetry indicates the author's deep appreciation for the arts and the way it intertwines with personal relationships.

A thank you to a former friend (and Frank O’Hara and Lana Turner)

Thank you for reading Frank O’Hara aloud with me. Thank you for the weeks of breakfast meetings at Cafe Septieme where I ate Welsh rarebit (not a rabbit!) and then hurried off to make it to my library job on time.

Thank you for teaching me how to use a microphone and how to speak loudly, slowly, and clearly enough for an audience to hear. Thank you for showing me how anyone can talk to anyone and book a room and write a press release and host an event.

Thank you for explaining how an audience doesn’t just show up for a reading: you need to personally invite everyone you think might possibly want to attend, and then you need to politely ask all the readers to do the same.

Thank you for showing me you don’t have to be an artist to buy heavy, beautiful art books, and to design your own posters and postcards and print them on the cheap.

Thank you for calling on the phone late one night when I was making hash browns for my girlfriend and asking me, “But who’s making you hash browns?”

Thank you for introducing me to so many of your writer and artist friends. One of them messaged me, 15 years later, to tell me you had died. I had spent a long time being mad at you and then a much longer time thinking of you on and off but knowing it wasn’t a good idea to try to be friends again.

When I heard from your friend, I googled you and found you on social media. You looked happy in your photos, and I understood then how a friendship can end on a bad note, but an odd fondness can remain.

Your photos were like movie stills of an actress I felt I knew from watching her movies while lying on my couch on countless afternoons while the go-getters of the world thought they had better things to do.

I re-read the poem we read aloud together, and for the first time, I heard a note of exasperation when Frank O’Hara says, “oh Lana Turner we love you, get up.”

I couldn’t love you back then nor for many years, but now I do, like the Leading Ladies in the black and white photo anthology of the same name on the bookshelf by my TV.

Gratitude

Dear A.

A thank you to a former friend (and Frank O’Hara and Lana Turner)

Dear Stacey Levine

A thank you to the writer who introduced me to the poetry of Lorine Niedecker

Dear Miss Dorothy Gretchen Flickinger

A thank you note to a unique friend from my childhood