Dear Cisters: Has every trans person shown signs since childhood?
Yes and no.
Welcome to Dear Cisters, the column that’s more like Dear Abby than the Savage Lovecast. I’m your host, transgender writer/editor/nerd Stephenie Magister.
QUESTION: Am I trans if I didn’t experience gender dysphoria until I was a teenager or an adult?
ANSWER
DYSPHORIA IS LIKE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY COMMON AT ALL AGES (even among cis people!!!)
Most people have experienced dysphoria at many different points in their life. But it depends on the person whether and when you experience dysphoria around your gender. Those are what some of us now classify as “transgender experiences.”
Even a few women who remain labeled as "cis" have had transgender experiences. They just don't call themselves trans because, well, we are all unique and have to decide for ourselves what kind of woman we are, why we qualify, and how to balance that against the expectations of the world around us.
AGE IS A MEANINGLESS CONCEPT (UNTIL IT ISN’T)
Using that concept of being trans, it’s absurd to say that you don’t qualify as a girl (or insert your gender) just because you didn’t experience gender dysphoria (one of the most significant transgender experiences a person can have) until you were 13.
It's very, very common for us not to feel dysphoria until puberty. But that's when our bodies and the people around us tend to start sending us signals that don't match the gender we always knew belonged to us but never needed to be asserted until now.
This is an article I published about what I went through as a young trans girl in the deep south. I too didn’t really begin to think of myself as having trans experiences or being trans until — just like many of you — my body and the world around me began to demand I live as something I was not.
But once you think of it that way, how does what age you experience dysphoria have anything to do with whether you’re trans? Not even having had transgender experiences in itself means YOU are trans. You may be a cis girl who has merely had transgender experiences. That’s a label you have to decide for yourself.
FINAL THOUGHTS
This may not work as well for your friends, family, and rivals (including the one you carry inside), but I highly recommend having them listen to or read this article:
Dear Cisters, you (probably) transitioned too
And if you still need a few kind words, here are a few from a queer trans mom :)
The end
Hi, it’s Stephenie!
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