Day 7–100 Days To Becoming An Online Course Instructor
A Day of Reflection
Day 7.
I didn’t achieve concrete results today. No interviews. No requests to people for further interviews. I didn’t even write this article on actual Day 7 (apologies).
The only action that I can report that was even remotely related to my goal was some reflection time. That’s it.
I felt guilty at first, then it occurred to me that reflection time is still time well spent. Reflection time can generate lots of learning.
Knowledge
I think the knowledge that I am going to use today is about way of being. It’s not newly acquired knowledge. I have shared it in a few of my articles. However, I think it’s helpful knowledge for me for today.
The interpretation is that our way of being is made up of what we think, say and interpret, our moods and emotions, and how we embody all of these elements. The actions that we take are generated by our way of being. From our way of being, some actions will be possible and some will not be possible.
Here’s a pretty way of being diagram that I pulled together some time ago:
So why the focus on way of being?
Ever since the realisation that my course structure isn’t what people are after, I have felt myself holding on to the idea of a structured course program, rather than the type of program that people are suggesting through the interviews. Why hold on? It is as though letting go of my original idea is letting go of a part of my identity.
The question that arose for me was: What in my way of being has me holding onto the original course idea?
The answer, I believe, lies in my way of being.
What I Learned
To find out what in my way of being had me holding onto the original course idea, I asked myself my standard way of being questions:
- What am I thinking and saying to myself about the different offers? What am I saying to myself about myself and the different offers?
- What moods and emotions are present? Can I name them?
- How does this all feel in my body — posture, breathing, sensations, etc?
The course offer that seems to be evolving is one that involves digital downloads. It would not involve delivering workshops (via Zoom or in-person). I wanted to deliver workshops.
Interestingly, I learned that I was telling myself that if I wasn’t delivering workshops, I wasn’t adding value. I was telling myself that it would reduce my worthiness. Who would I be if I couldn’t be the person I had imagined that I would be? The emotions that I noticed were disappointment, fear, and also a little curiosity. In my body, I could feel the disappointment, sadness and fear. My chest felt tight, I had butterflies in my stomach and my arms and shoulders were tense, with my body generally reduced in size.
Great. What way of being will help me to become less wedded to a specific course style?
The emotions that felt useful were enthusiasm and (increased) curiosity. The stories that would be useful to be telling myself were along the lines of “I can do this!” “Let’s make a start”, “I am worthy” and “I wonder what I will create?” It felt useful to have a body that would be more open and relaxed, with more even breathing.
When I imagined a new course approach from this way of being, it felt like a journey. It didn’t feel so much like a loss. It felt like I would be creating something.
I think I still have a way to go with this reflection. However, this was an amazing start.
Progress
Initially, I felt as though I could not look everyone in the eye through this article and say that I have made progress. However, I think that taking time out to reflect on what was happening for me was very important. I didn’t physically tick anything off my list. I did come to understand a little more of myself and what makes me tick. That was worth it.
I am going to say that I am still on track, based on my initial goal of “getting the interviews done within the next couple of weeks”.
7/7/100 (Days on track / Days gone / 100) On track.
References
Sieler, A., 2003. Coaching to the Human Soul: Ontological Coaching and Deep Change Volume 1. Australia: Publishing Solutions Pty Ltd.
Take Me To The Previous Day or The Next Day