Dating a Handsome Man Was My Biggest Mistake

I should have known it will backfire one day.

I still remember the day I saw him for the first time. My first day in a post-graduate diploma course in Human Resources Management. All new faces around me. The class was filled with curious eyes and questions shot at point-blank range.

I was quiet though. I was overwhelmed with the newness of the whole situation. None of my old college friends to jibber-jabber with. I decided to just let my eyes scan the place quietly and wait for a professor to enter the classroom.

But wait, what did I see.

I saw two boys entering the class. The other one I didn't notice at all as the first one captured my full attention. He was clad in a leaf-green, loose-fitted college boy T-shirt, paired with a faded powder blue jeans.

A Scorpio tattoo on his forearm and a chocolate-boy smile suited him perfectly. His skinny appearance didn't take away his boyish charms. But the moment he passed my bench, it was only then I noticed for the first time — His beautiful eyes.

It took me a while to believe I saw something so beautiful. His eyes were all I could see, all I wanted to see. I forgot for a moment where I was and for what purpose.

I just wanted to get lost in those beautiful eyes.

I was head-over-heels in love

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I didn’t. But 2008 changed that for me. I now had a new purpose to attend the diploma class in the evenings — To see him.

For the first few weeks, I would just stalk him, observe him, and admire him like a lost cause. The days he remained absent went the worst for me.

I never bothered if anyone was watching me gawk at him continuously. If I had, I would have looked very creepy, honestly.

But who bothered.

I just wanted to see him as much as my eyes could take. I even became last-bencher from a typical first-bencher so as to be close to him. It was the first change I went through for him.

Only I didn't know, the change wasn't going to be the last one.

The lesson

Falling in love with some can be a blessing for you, but if that love starts with changing yourself then take a step back to see the situation in its real state.

A new-found friendship

Thank God our surnames gave us the opportunity to be in the same presentation group always. I got to see him up close and personal. Not that I had the audacity to talk to him, but at least I could drink in his beautiful eyes.

One fine day I got a chance to be his partner for the presentation. I couldn't believe it. It was too much to handle.

He would start speaking and I would start giggling.

‘’This girl is a complete gone case.’’ I am sure he must have thought that. But I couldn't contain my excitement and happiness around him.

It was clearly etched on my face that I was mad for his love and he had just found a new friendship in the class — i.e. with me.

The sparks were in the air

I don't know, what, when, how, and where things changed but he too started noticing me differently. We would sit together for group discussions but we would be lost in each other's eyes.

The entire classroom exchanged teasing eyes when we stood or sat close to each other. Everyone could see the sparks emitted from our sizzling chemistry.

No words said, just raw sensuous energy oozing from every ounce of our presence together.

The dating season arrived

In the blink of an eye, we were dating each other. Believe it or not, it was unbelievable. I would thank God each day for bringing him into my life.

He was cute, sweet, smart, witty, and his eyes were oh so beautiful. He made my heart take a 360-degree summersault every time he flirted with me or showered me with compliments.

I swear my cheeks gave tough competition to the red roses.

Days and nights all seemed alike as we would be lost in our conversations through phone calls and text messages. It seemed I got everything I needed from this world.

He and his love for me.

Something was amiss

Remember when you just start dreaming, you don't think if that dream is within you reaches or not. You just dream about it. You see them as one of your own and cherish it as your life depended on them.

I did the same for him.

I would do anything and everything to show him how much I loved him. It was for me my first ever relationship. I took it to be my moral responsibility to prove to him my love every single day.

Even though I was getting crushed under its pressure unknowingly.

There always comes a time when you wake up from your dream and see the naked reality. It took some time but after a series of blows from him, I did wake up.

That day reality stabbed me in the heart like a brutal murderer.

The harsh reality took over

I started noticing that I wasn't the only one who kept him busy with chats and messages. There were many like me who were doing anything and everything to make him see their love.

I would always wonder why did he choose me to be his girlfriend?

I was a girl from a middle-class background with average intelligence and looks. However, there were other girls who were almost too perfect to be true in every sense.

They were the epitome of beauty, the ones you could brag about being in a relationship with. I on the other hand was just a girl next door. Nothing really stood out about me.

So what was it that made him approach me romantically?

The answer was simple. My innocence induced with foolishness. He was a player and dating several girls at the same time was no task for him.

I was naive in this game and was therefore an easy catch for him. In other words, I was a good timepass material.

I could be utilized for waking him up in the mornings, complete his assignments, help him with his presentations, and compile notes for his exams.

I was never the one in whom he would invest himself completely and brag to the world that I was his girlfriend.

The storm of tears overtook every sense of my being

The first heartbreaks are always very difficult to overcome. We have never felt or experienced anything like that before and we don't have any expertise to handle them.

When he stopped talking to me all of a sudden, I felt deserted on an unknown island. No one to help and no means of communication with the world outside.

It was scary, terrifying, and excruciatingly painful.

My days and nights were used to his love messages and his sweet lover-boy talks. I never thought I would have to live without them someday.

I tried to win him back

I tried calling him repeatedly. I was ready to ask for forgiveness despite not knowing my mistake. I just wanted him back. I loved him much more than my ego.

I couldn't see him go.

One day finally, he picked up my call. I asked him, what happened that he became so distant from me?

He coldly replied,

‘’Do you really think I would leave all the beautiful girls in the class and come after a girl like you. Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? Your ego is everything for you. So take and ego and make it your boyfriend. But don't every try to call me back.’’

Banggggggggg…….. The call was over.

I learned a lesson in life

It's not that I hadn't seen odd-looking couples ever. In many cases, one of the partners were average looking and the other one was quite the catch.

Yet, they looked so much in love.

Though I had realized that he was much superior to me looks-wise, I still thought I was lucky to have him love me without focusing on my average looks.

But that wasn't the case.

For him, I was just a means to kill time. He taught me the hard way that girls like me should not dare dream for awesome looking guys like him.

With every shredded tear, I regretted not giving myself a reality check. Why I thought this could turn out differently when in reality they never do.

My views in 2020

• This incident took place 12 years back and my entire universe has changed since then,
• It was not my fault that I gave him my heart, it was his fault that he never had the right frame of mind,
• He was a loser as he lost a loving and caring girl like me,
• It should be him regretting to let me go for those useless girls in his life,
• Real love has nothing to do with your looks, skin color, or economic background,
• It's just one soul yearning to be with another soul,
• I will wait for that day when I meet such a man,
• Who will not make me realize how handsome he is, but how beautiful his life has been since I became a part of it.

Thank you for your precious time. Do read similar pieces written by me.