Avoid These 3 Relationship Promises
Let your truth shine
Why didst thou promise such a beauteous day,
And make me travel forth without my cloak,
To let base clouds o’ertake me in my way,
Hiding thy bravery in their rotten smoke?
’Tis not enough that through the cloud thou break,
To dry the rain on my storm-beaten face,
For no man well for such a salve can speak
That heals the wound and cures not the disgrace;
Nor can thy shame give physic to my grief.
When two people are in love, their trust knows no bounds. One makes promises and the other believes them. They have heard of promises being broken into pieces. But when someone asks what if their promises break too, they deny it by saying,
‘’Our love differs from the entire world. We will never break our promise.’’
Call it an overdose of oxytocin or dopamine, but that's the feeling. Oxytocin is the ‘Love’ hormone and Dopamine is the ‘Cheering’ hormone. Both of them together, create an illusion called ‘LOVE’.
That is why the above sonnet by the great William Shakespeare fits perfectly for the thoughts I want to convey.
People make promises easily but forget one thing. It takes years to build trust and a moment to break it. As you know, promises made in love and the trust that comes along, are two sides of the same coin.
Promises can shatter. But when they do, they take away a piece of one’s soul. Hence, promises should be avoided for protection from miseries.
1. ‘’Our Love Is Forever.’’
Even the medicines with chemical formulations come with an expiry date. How can a promise made by a chemically charged person last forever?
Life is so unpredictable by nature. And our emotions are a variable depending on life’s circumstances. Our feelings may change after 5 years. Things change. People change too.
At this moment I’m typing in pin-drop silence followed by the sound of heavy rains the very next moment. We are humans. We don’t know what’s going to happen next, so expecting promises to last forever is out of the question.
2. “Everything Mine Is Yours.”
Why? Why did you say that? Have you forgotten our world? Have you forgotten how materialistic people have become? Remember,
It is a world of aspiring Sheldon Coopers who would make lawful relationship agreements if they could.
How will you know what’s different? He will announce it while others won’t. They will take your signature on the agreement and you will never know. That makes it more dangerous, doesn’t it?
Especially when you are unaware of your true worth.
3. ‘’I Can Love No One Else But You.’’
Sweetheart! Didn’t you say the same thing for the pair of shoes you bought two years ago? Sure, shoes and lovers don’t go hand in hand, but the psychology behind them does.
Both of them brought immense happiness to your life.
Sometimes, out of fear, we make promises to the significant other. Our Fight and Flight response kicks in when our partner pops questions like these,
‘’You will always love me, right?’’
First, there is no point in asking such questions. It looks like some lame effort to walk away from reality.
It is like you’re trying to buy relationship insurance through such verbal agreements. Which for your information is nonviable. Therefore, will not come with any guarantees or warranties.
What If You Avoid Fake Promises?
- Both people will see the relationship in its naked state.
- The bubble of your ‘fantasy world’ will burst out.
- Both parties can make the right decision.
- The decision to continue the relationship further or not.
- They can be sure that their decision to stay with one another is free of whims and fancies. As mentioned in the sonnet,
It will save a lot of heartbreaks, pain, and humiliation. Humiliations which even the time cannot heal.
Final Thoughts
Look, I am not against love. I too have been hopelessly in love before. I too have made promises and been on the receiving end too.
I have seen close friends in relationships making big promises at the beginning of their relationships. Of course, They all crashed at some point.
But one mistake that stood out from all these stories were the promises made in them. We always face a weak moment where we feel like asking such hysterical questions.
But, when surprised, we should always try to answer them smartly. Tell them what you really feel and not what the other person wants to listen to. Yes, it is tricky but very much necessary. As rightly said,
A promise means Everything But once they break it, Sorry means nothing.
-Unknown