Daily Haiku #5: Rejected

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Abstract

to mention the design of Colonel Sanders, ahem.)</p><p id="35fe">But anyway, I wanted to win Colonel Sanders’ heart. So when the options came up, I thought “Katie, let’s go with something fancy to really impress him,” and so I chose to work with foods like octopus. That is, until Sanders flat-out stated his love of simple food and easy home cooked meals. Like, you know, fried chicken and mac & cheese AKA staples of the KFC menu.</p><p id="62c2">Then, I changed my tactics. I cooked the most basic of meals, but to perfection. I said I was excited about the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices. I cooked my grandmother’s special mashed potatoes. All for the colonel.</p><p id="4e32">And you know what he did?</p><p id="3fdf">He rejected me. He said I didn’t do well enough in cooking school for him, and that maybe we could revisit our relationship after he’d opened his 100th franchise.</p><p id="f8a1">And when I was like, wait. Can’t I come with you and help you open those franchises? He said no. Colonel Sanders told me I hadn’t done well enough in cooking school for him, even though I basically did everything according to his preferences.</p><p id="2fe4">So… so long, Colonel Sanders.</p><p id="d9d2">(But also I’m tempted to play again and see if I can get a different result.)</p><p id="150a"><b>This poem is part of a daily haiku project I started in 2020.</b></p><p id="392e">View the previous poem in the series here:</p><div id="5848" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/daily-haiku-4-watermelon-3bfdf15d4ae

Options

2"> <div> <div> <h2>Daily Haiku #4: Watermelon</h2> <div><h3>Drip drip / juices flow</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*z_GdGrIGbbsx0NLM)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="a321">View the next poem in the series here:</p><div id="deea" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/daily-haiku-6-childhood-626093c8e11e"> <div> <div> <h2>Daily Haiku #6: Childhood</h2> <div><h3>Bright innocent eyes</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*0RzlUaXD2LIS-bgy)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7a52"><b>© Katie Rodante 2020</b></p><p id="6d4a"><i>Katie Rodante is a writer living in sunny Dallas, Texas with her loving husband, two wild young children, and a lazy maltese. While she began her career as a paralegal, she found her passion is in creative fiction. Her works include a poetry book of Halloween haiku titled Autumn Reveries, several short stories, and two in-progress novels: a women’s fiction novel about love and loss, and a fantasy series involving wizards and music.</i></p></article></body>

a poem about a dating simulator

Tried to cook my way

Into Colonel Sanders heart

But got burnt instead

Two hours of my life went into playing my first ever dating simulator, a humorous video game called “I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator.” The main goal of the game is getting Mr. Sanders himself to be head over heels for you after 3 days of cooking classes at university. I thought it was going to be *easy* and boy was I wrong.

So, first mistake: I didn’t realize at first that this game was actually released by KFC, and so all the right answers were all about KFC and their menu. Duh, Katie. Of course this is just a fun marketing tactic. If we weren’t still mid-lockdown I might have ventured out for a late night bucket of chicken and mashed potatoes because they really put some effort into the pixelated designs of KFC menu items in this game. Seriously. Those pixels were mouth-watering. (Not to mention the design of Colonel Sanders, ahem.)

But anyway, I wanted to win Colonel Sanders’ heart. So when the options came up, I thought “Katie, let’s go with something fancy to really impress him,” and so I chose to work with foods like octopus. That is, until Sanders flat-out stated his love of simple food and easy home cooked meals. Like, you know, fried chicken and mac & cheese AKA staples of the KFC menu.

Then, I changed my tactics. I cooked the most basic of meals, but to perfection. I said I was excited about the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices. I cooked my grandmother’s special mashed potatoes. All for the colonel.

And you know what he did?

He rejected me. He said I didn’t do well enough in cooking school for him, and that maybe we could revisit our relationship after he’d opened his 100th franchise.

And when I was like, wait. Can’t I come with you and help you open those franchises? He said no. Colonel Sanders told me I hadn’t done well enough in cooking school for him, even though I basically did everything according to his preferences.

So… so long, Colonel Sanders.

(But also I’m tempted to play again and see if I can get a different result.)

This poem is part of a daily haiku project I started in 2020.

View the previous poem in the series here:

View the next poem in the series here:

Katie Rodante is a writer living in sunny Dallas, Texas with her loving husband, two wild young children, and a lazy maltese. While she began her career as a paralegal, she found her passion is in creative fiction. Her works include a poetry book of Halloween haiku titled Autumn Reveries, several short stories, and two in-progress novels: a women’s fiction novel about love and loss, and a fantasy series involving wizards and music.