Daddies and Little (and Big) Girls

You’re more important than you may think

My little heart holds big emotions Please don’t ever get the notion That the way I see you doesn’t count That a daddy is something I can do without

You’re more important than you realize If you’d only open up your eyes You’d see my arms yawning so wide And the feelings I sometimes try to hide

I need a pillar, a rock so strong Someone to fix the things that go wrong You’re the first man I’ll ever really love The standard of man I’m going to dream of

If you want me to think I’m worth treating right Then you should start this very night Show me how important I already am So I’ll never accept anything less from any man

Often, especially in days past, fathers would leave the care of daughters almost solely in the hands of the mother. After all, what does a man know about becoming a woman, or the emotional outbursts that often come from little girls?

Thankfully, there has been more of a shift away from that in recent years, with fathers taking a more active role in their daughters’ lives.

Studies have proven how much influence a man has on his daughters, in so many aspects of their development.

Girls may well turn to their mothers for a lot of things, but little girls having emotional support from their father is a necessity.

Having the approval of the first man she has ever loved is essential.

The father-daughter relationship can oftentimes be even more important than the mother-daughter connection.

“How Dad approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter to build off of in her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world,” says Michael Austin, associate professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University and editor of Fatherhood — Philosophy for Everyone: The Dao of Daddy.

Girls who were raised with an emotionally supportive father are more likely to grow into women who have self-confidence and know their worth. They will be more likely to take charge of a situation, feeling as if they are capable of dealing with challenges that arise.

Girls who have fathers taking an interest in their lives are also more likely to excel academically.

A father doesn’t have to be perfect. He simply has to make himself available. To listen and make sure his daughter knows he loves and supports her.

The way you talk to your daughter can also greatly influence her own body image, and, therefore, the way she interacts with the world around her.

Be conscious of the way you talk about other women in her presence. You’re setting the tone for her expectations of men, and of herself and what is “normal” for a woman’s body.

When a girl is old enough to date, and then marry, she will model her own relationships after the silent messages and verbal interaction received from her father.

“He must, first and foremost, treat his daughter with respect and love. Whether or not he is married to or still together with his daughter’s mom, showing respect to her mother is essential as well,” explains Austin. “He must also value women as human beings, and not as persons to be used. Daughters will see what their dads believe about women by how they value and respect women, or by how they fail to do so.”

So, as a man interacts with his daughter, he is literally teaching her what to look for in future partners, even long before she is old enough to even think about such things.

That’s a pretty heavy responsibility, isn’t it?

How many fathers end up hating the young men their daughters date?

A question to ask yourself, then, may be whether the way that young man you dislike so much mirrors your own treatment of your daughter, or your treatment of her mother (or your current partner).

Does he disregard her feelings, but she somehow seems to be okay with putting up with that nonsense?

Make sure you’re not teaching her that it’s okay for a man to do that to her. Remember, our actions carry more weight than our words. Our children watch everything we do, but they listen to much less of what we say.

Does he cut her off and not listen when she offers her opinion, as if a girl automatically knows less than he does?

Perhaps a little self-reflection is in order.

So, if you’re a father of daughters, please remember how incredibly vital you are to them.

Their mother is important, yes, but you can teach them things their mother is incapable of — you are your daughter’s first love, and the keeper of her heart until she decides to gift it to someone else.

Never take that responsibility lightly.