Criticized

Summary

The author discusses personal growth in dealing with criticism, acknowledging fear and exhaustion as barriers, and outlines strategies for moving forward by recognizing safety in constructive feedback and setting boundaries to manage workload effectively.

Abstract

The article titled "Criticized" delves into the emotional and psychological responses to criticism, revealing the author's tendency to withdraw when faced with it. The author identifies two primary reasons for this reaction: an instinctive association of criticism with past physical danger and the exhaustion from the relentless effort to prove oneself, which makes any requested change feel like an insurmountable burden. Recognizing these reasons paves the way for progress. The author emphasizes the importance of understanding the safety of constructive criticism in the present and the intrinsic worth that exists independently of one's workload. By acknowledging their value and setting intentional boundaries around their time, the author is making significant strides in overcoming the fear of criticism, marking it as a notable personal achievement.

Opinions

The author perceives criticism as a trigger for retreat and fear, stemming from past experiences and current stressors.
Criticism is seen as a potential threat, both physically and emotionally, which prompts a protective response.
The author admits to feeling overwhelmed by their workload and the pressure to constantly prove their worth, which exacerbates the negative impact of criticism.
There is a recognition that current criticism can be constructive and not a reflection of past negative experiences.
The author advocates for self-worth independent of professional achievements and the importance of declining tasks that exceed one's capacity.
Progress is defined by the author as the ability to face criticism without the same level of fear that previously inhibited them.

Criticized

where there is criticism

I hide in my shell.

I protect, am afraid.

I think instinctively, there are 2 reasons.

I am afraid that criticism now is just like the criticism in the past, associated with physical danger.

I am tired and overworked, trying to prove my worth, and requested change becomes an added task to my already mountainous pile. I am not coping.

When I understand these reasons, I can move forward.

I am safe. Criticisms now are constructive and focus on growth. I have the ability to handle these changes.

I am worthy, regardless of my workload. I do not need to say yes if it is a task that cannot be done within my timeframe. I will note this, and be intentional with how to schedule my time.

I am moving forward with my fear of criticism

and that is my biggest progress of the year.

Originally published here as a Journal cover.

I also write tinier, happier poems

And longer pieces about my experiences trying to figure out which life hack tips actually fit into my life as a frazzled grad student.

Criticized

Snowflakes ❄

a short poem that melts like a memory.

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