Queerly Trans Writing Prompt

Coming Out Trans to My Hair Stylist

My response to Logan Silkwood’s Write them a letter…

If you’d like to join Logan and me, this writing prompt from Queerly Trans can be found in detail here:

Full disclosure, I wrote this letter and came out to my stylist prior to the writing prompt being published. That being said, I’m qualifying this under option three, “Write a note to a person who you have not come out to yet….” I have a note from the teacher regarding approval, so keep your pedantry to yourself. (And between you and me, dear reader, Logan had been given draft access to my letter several days before publishing his writing prompt, so despite the blatant lack of a shoutout, I think I was at least partially of inspiration.😜)

Hi Elizabeth (All names, except mine, changed to maintain anonymity),

I’m sorry for canceling on you last month, I feel terrible about the short notice I gave you, your time is valuable. I need to tell you something before I come in again. I was in denial for a long time, but have finally accepted something about myself and I hope you will be accepting as well. I’m transgender! You’re only the 7th person I’ve come out to, so for now, I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself and Jacob. Mary Erbell and Sandra Pluge both know, but no one else from the Burning Man community do.

Why are you number seven on my list? Well, a girl tells her stylist everything right? 😄 I’m growing my hair out, but I’ll need your help making sure it looks good as it grows. And I’ll need long-term hair care products. And later on makeup help. Basically, I want you on my team.

A lot of this is scary and I want to make sure I’m in a safe place. I love your salon, but it’s not on https://www.strandsfortrans.com/ and I want to confirm with you that it is trans-friendly.

My new name is Victoria Quinn, my friends call me Tori. My pronouns are she/her but all this can come later when I’m out fully.

I look forward to your reply.

Elizabeth was the first person that I have come out to remotely and via written communication. I used Facebook Messenger to send the letter because it was (a) the most convenient option, but seemingly of vital importance in that moment, (b) it allowed me to see when she was online and had read my note. The twenty-two-minute span between me nervously clicking that blue send arrow and her reply felt like an entire universal cycle of the Mesoamerican (Mayan) Long Count calendar; otherwise known as 2,880,000 days. This hyperbolic eternity was only exacerbated by Elizabeth having “read” it within the first four minutes.

Of course, like most things I frivolously fret, her response was completely accepting in nature, above and beyond my expectations. And hopefully, we’ve given the local trans community another visible resource.

Wow thank you so much for trusting me with this! I would love to help and [her salon] is absolutely a safe place. I will even talk to my boss about adding our salon to this website! I totally understand the cancellation and I’m looking forward to the journey ahead!

I had an appointment with her two days later without incident; barring the exorbitant cost of the shampoo and conditioner she sold me. We talked about long-term goals concerning hair, nails and makeup in addition to our usual shooting of the breeze. As I’ll be growing out my hair, it will be some time before I see her again, but I have a bolstered sense of confidence knowing that she’s on my team.

I’d love to read your responses to this writing prompt; leave a link in the comments. Or if this one doesn’t tickle your fancy, allow me to shamelessly promote mine: What are you waiting for?

Confident regards,

💜 Victoria Quinn 💜