Memoir
The Day I Discovered my Lover was Cheating
Cold Coffee #1: I felt sick, my body began to shake as I picked up the card and read it again. How had this happened? We had 2 years of history together…
In my experience, it’s usually a good idea to go into work between Christmas and the new year. Invariably, the boss would let the staff leave early. That year was no exception. I arrived home while it was still light and sat down in the sitting room with a cup of coffee. Glancing up, I marvelled at the amount of Christmas cards we had received — independently, and as a couple. I had recently started a new job, and Seb a degree in the city, plus part-time work. This was probably why we had received more cards than normal. They were hanging around the room on a string, providing decoration.
Intuition
My eyes fell on one in particular. While very similar to many others, something about it made my stomach flutter with nerves. Reaching up I tipped it from the string and it fell on the sofa. My cat pounced, disturbed from his slumber. Grabbing it, I read the inscription inside.
Dear Seb. Have a Happy Christmas, Love Susan x.
I vaguely remembered he had mentioned someone of that name working at the local supermarket, where he had a part-time job while studying. Looking down at her cursive, unsophisticated writing style, I wondered why my stomach had lurched.
Still on edge, I jumped when the phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hi, am I talking to May?”
“Yes, who’s calling?”
“You don’t know me but your partner’s been sleeping with my wife, Susan. I thought you should know.”
He stated this, very articulately, as if he had practised the words many times before calling.
I sat down. Breathing heavily, I quietly replied,
“Thank you for telling me.”
I felt sick, my body began to shake as I picked up the card and read it again. How had this happened? I trusted Seb. We had 2 years of history together. He told me constantly that he loved me.
Why would he do such a thing? When and where had they been having their affair?
I never questioned for one moment if the man on the phone had fabricated events. My gut told me he was telling the truth. Not only that, for some reason as soon as I heard his voice, I knew what he was about to say.
Coffee with Brandy!
My mind began to race and I knew I couldn’t be alone. Running down to the neighbours’ house, I blurted out what I knew. They looked at me, incredulous.
“Are you sure?” June queried.
I nodded as Rob handed me a coffee.
“I’ve put a nip of brandy in it,” he said, “for the shock.”
Clasping the warm mug I sipped the liquid staring at a spot in the distance. June put a sympathetic arm around me.
Shortly there was a knock at the door and Seb walked in. These neighbours were friends of ours. I looked at him and tears sprang from nowhere.
“I think you better take her home,” Rob stated.
Grabbing my handbag, I rushed past him and back up the street to our house. He followed.
Once inside I accused him.
“Susan’s husband called…why would you do that to us?”
He didn’t deny anything.
“It meant nothing. I just wanted to be close to her. You are always so distant with me. I don’t love her, I love you.”
“That’s the way you love me?” I screamed, picking up a nearby hardback book and flinging it at him. The cat fled past my feet as I began to shout obscenities.
He stood there and took it all, offering no further defence. I felt exhausted. Grabbing my holdall, I went upstairs, packed a few supplies and headed for the front door.
“Pl…please,” he stuttered. “Please, don’t leave, I don’t want her, I want you, it's always been you,” he begged, sobbing.
Escape
He reached for my arm. I pushed him away and headed for my car. Standing in the middle of the road to block my departure, Seb held his hands out. I turned on the engine and drove straight at him. Sidestepping out of the way he watched me drive past. Glancing in the rearview mirror I saw him standing on the pavement, hands in his trouser pockets, looking like a lost child.
Tears streamed down my face — I sobbed for the whole journey to my friend’s house.
“Whatever has happened?” She asked.
Slightly trembling, yet all out of tears, I slowly relayed the chain of events to her, arms crossed, clutching at my elbows.
My mouth was dry. I licked my lips and looked up. She realised I was thirsty, dehydrated from the trauma.
“Oh you poor love, let me get you a coffee, I’ll put a drop of brandy in it for you, it should help with the shock.”
Later I went to bed in her guest room but couldn’t sleep. Not surprising after all that coffee and trauma. I looked at the clock — five in the morning. It felt like a black cloud had engulfed my soul. I got a notepad out of my bag and began to write a diary about how I felt…
The shock, the pain, the devastation.
I wanted to ring Seb, but knew it was way too early in more than one sense of that word.
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