Coffee Schmoffee

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Abstract

etimes, when I’m in a place filled with the smell of coffee I just have to have some so I order a cup. Those first few sips are so delicious. Yum. But by the time I’m halfway through the cup of coffee it stops tasting delicious and I start feeling the effects of it. I feel my blood pressure rising and my stomach starts feeling like I just poured battery acid into it. And my mouth goes on bitter alert. I rarely am able to finish a cup and it’s usually many months before I drink it again.</p><p id="de63">It’s hard to believe that I used to drink many cups of coffee every day (just like most people). How did I do it?</p><p id="1b80">I can almost hear someone asking, “So if you don’t drink coffee in the morning, what do you drink?”</p><p id="661c">Well, I don’t drink tea. I very rarely drink tea. I drink it about as often as I drink coffee. No, I start each and every morning with 2 to 4 tall glasses of cold lemon water. After 20 years of drinking lemon water each and every morning I can now say that I am addicted to it. I panic if I run out of lemons.</p><p id="b6b3">I guess my body adjusted to my switching of addictions. Bodies will do that.</p><p id="1720">So during this weekend of coffee celebrations I guess I’m just

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the odd man out. I have no coffee stories to tell, no coffee artwork to share. It’s just not my weekend.</p><p id="cce2">Okay, now I’m wondering if there is an International Lemon Day. I suppose I could google it but I won’t do that. What if I find out that there really is a lemon day? What if I find out that there are millions of lemon water drinkers in the world?</p><p id="cea8">Then I might find out that I’m not such a weirdo after all. We can’t have that!</p><p id="66bc"><i>Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved.</i></p><p id="f94e">Although I don’t drink coffee, I did recently write a short story that revolved around a coffee mug:</p><div id="dd79" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/lifes-a-beach-fb514d13eaa7"> <div> <div> <h2>Life’s a Beach</h2> <div><h3>And then you cry (A story that will make you smile)</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*fozbNBPSUUYGxQJpeawSeA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

They call me, ‘Weirdo’

I’ve been called, ‘Weirdo,’ countless times throughout my life. It was one of my nicknames as a child. It doesn’t bother me when I’m called that. Often it makes me smile. After all, I consider being normal to be a fate worse than death.

So as I peruse Medium today I see countless stories about International Coffee Day, which I have learned is tomorrow. The Scene & Heard is even having a contest for coffee-related art and writing. Sadly, it’s just not for me.

Why? Because I don’t drink coffee. Unlike almost every adult human, I am not a coffee drinker. I’m a weirdo.

I quit drinking coffee in the second half of the 1990s. I don’t remember exactly when it was. But it has been roughly 20 years since I was a coffee drinker.

Mind you, I still drink one or two or three cups of coffee a year. I love the smell of coffee and I love the taste — at least the first few sips. Sometimes, when I’m in a place filled with the smell of coffee I just have to have some so I order a cup. Those first few sips are so delicious. Yum. But by the time I’m halfway through the cup of coffee it stops tasting delicious and I start feeling the effects of it. I feel my blood pressure rising and my stomach starts feeling like I just poured battery acid into it. And my mouth goes on bitter alert. I rarely am able to finish a cup and it’s usually many months before I drink it again.

It’s hard to believe that I used to drink many cups of coffee every day (just like most people). How did I do it?

I can almost hear someone asking, “So if you don’t drink coffee in the morning, what do you drink?”

Well, I don’t drink tea. I very rarely drink tea. I drink it about as often as I drink coffee. No, I start each and every morning with 2 to 4 tall glasses of cold lemon water. After 20 years of drinking lemon water each and every morning I can now say that I am addicted to it. I panic if I run out of lemons.

I guess my body adjusted to my switching of addictions. Bodies will do that.

So during this weekend of coffee celebrations I guess I’m just the odd man out. I have no coffee stories to tell, no coffee artwork to share. It’s just not my weekend.

Okay, now I’m wondering if there is an International Lemon Day. I suppose I could google it but I won’t do that. What if I find out that there really is a lemon day? What if I find out that there are millions of lemon water drinkers in the world?

Then I might find out that I’m not such a weirdo after all. We can’t have that!

Although I don’t drink coffee, I did recently write a short story that revolved around a coffee mug: