Cleaning Out Pandora’s Box
Recently I was asked to consolidate some boxes on a shelf to make room for god-knows-what.
To most people, organizing boxes comes easily and is perhaps even viewed as a mindless and ultimately satisfying task.
In my case, and I say this without Hesiodic drama, it is just not easy for me to open a box and “consolidate”. For months I avoided the task. Not because of lack of motivation or laziness. To me, opening a box sets loose a torrent of memories, good and bad. It unleashes a wave of emotions that I am simply unprepared to face. Physical and emotional unpacking are intertwined and threaten to strangle.
What could be so bad? Letters from and funeral programs for deceased loved ones, a crumpled up piece of paper with a case number written on it for a crime in which I was a victim, letters from failed relationships, financial records of failed ventures, old dated calendars noting events from happier times, unique items that hold special and sacred memories, and the list goes on. Each item invoked a different emotion. Emotions that ignite every memory of associated traumas.
An important but often difficult thing to embrace while on the trek to healing is the capacity and ability to reflect upon the past and unpack all the memories with openness. Being able to break down the memories and associated emotions, and really examine them in a deep, intricate way is crucial to understanding what healing is all about. The same is true for the unpacking that caused me to be emotionally distraught.
What started out as simply transferring items about caused emotional triggers that hit out of nowhere; one minute I was completely fine, and in the next, I went sideways. It flung me around, and now I’m doing my best to examine it and gain a deeper understanding of it.
It’s one of the best things we can do for ourselves in healing; work to understand what our emotional triggers are, so we can gain a deeper understanding of how our minds work and how we react to situations.
But never be fooled into believing that sorting memory boxes is an easy or pleasant task. The result will be growth, to be sure, but no real growth comes easily. And there is a reason that Pandora’s unwelcome detritus was placed in a box, stored until courage can be mustered.
Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this article, feel free to read similar articles I have written.
© Gena Vazquez 2020