Summary

The content reflects a personal journey of self-discovery through various experiences with drugs and relationships, ultimately leading to the realization that life's questions may be circumstantial and the answers, elusive.

Abstract

The narrative begins with a transformative moment involving music and camaraderie, diverging from mainstream culture. It progresses through a series of drug-induced experiences, romantic encounters, and periods of introspection. The protagonist seeks fulfillment and understanding through different substances and connections with others, yet consistently faces the impermanence of these highs. Eventually, the search for answers evolves into a quiet acceptance of the unknown and an acknowledgment that perhaps the questions themselves are as important as any answer could be.

Opinions

The author seems to suggest that the pursuit of life's answers can be a hedonistic journey, filled with both euphoria and disappointment.
There is a sense of disillusionment with the idea of finding a definitive answer to life's great question.
The experiences with drugs and relationships are depicted as transient, highlighting the fleeting nature of highs and the impermanence of companionship.
The protagonist's transformation into a content non-conformist reflects a positive change, moving away from a relentless search for meaning to embracing the mystery of life.
The author implies that personal growth and self-awareness may come from the realization that some questions are circumstantial and may not have a single, universal answer.

Circumstantial

it started one day with the flick of a lighter and the pop of a can that was when I found myself somewhere else with the guitar players among the other kids who skipped class they listened to music that couldn’t be found on the radio

after I perfected the rolling papers and the mixing of soda and rum i graduated to eating things that grew from the ground and changing the colors

life had a new meaning, a new adventure a new calling to find the answer life’s great question revealed

breezes became stronger music had more rhythm we laughed longer and the girls became more passionate

and they would come then they would go

i met her at a party at my house she gave me a little white pill with a tequila to wash it down lethargic, with a headache followed by a back rub for a few months

she left me and I met a new girl in town with a case of beer, a rolled up 20 dollar bill a razor and a mirror

we became companions looking for an answer

she left me and i looked around looked everywhere. in bars with drunken half open, pretty eyes with no name

in bathrooms boisterous and loud obnoxious with white nosed goddesses

in the back seat of cars with giggly spaced out flirtatious stoners

no matter how vigorous the search i couldn’t find what i wanted

i found myself lost until in a field i met a little girl who carried little pieces of paper that could take you to the moon and back and back again

i looked around in this field full of hippies until i became one one of the ones who are content not knowing

then i met her, my favorite vice

all the others had their ups and downs the only difference was this time the ups were much better than the downs

wrong

she left me and i found myself alone after it was all said and done i had taken nothing with me had gathered nothing from this adventure to find the answer

I didn’t even know what the question was anymore

perhaps it is unanswerable perhaps it has many answers perhaps it is circumstantial

perhaps i am my own vice my own crown of thorns

perhaps i’ll learn one day

i met her at a bar…

howling

a poem

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wet sand

a poem

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