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Abstract

of upset, mourned the fact that we would have to wait a little longer to become husband and wife, then decided to carry on with our lives and look forward to the day our wedding could finally go ahead the way we’d planned.I felt pride in my ability to find peace with the situation. It would’ve been easy for me to wallow in misery, feel sorry for myself and curse the entire world for what was happening to me.But I chose optimism. Because, honestly, there’s no point in choosing the alternative.Choosing optimism allowed me to feel better, to find the positives in the situation and to simply get on with life and feel gratitude for everything I still had the privilege of having, namely my wonderful fiancé.<h2 id="3cb7">Different, but still lovely</h2>As time went on and restrictions lifted but remained strict — 30 guests only — we pushed onwards and continued with the wedmin, planning all over again and getting everything ready for our newly scaled down event.We began to get excited about having a smaller, more intimate event. It would be very different from the wedding we’d planned, but it would be perfect nonetheless.Throughout it all, we had always held firmly that our becoming husband and wife was the absolute most important part of the wedding.It’s not that I didn’t care about the guests we were no longer able to have share the day with us — far from it— but for my own happiness and sanity I chose to accept and find the positives within our new plan.<h2 id="50ab">Almost there — time for things to change again!</h2>Now, just over 4 weeks before our upcoming wedding second time around, rules have changed yet again in the UK.Guest numbers have now dropped from 30 to a tiny 15.BAM. Another disappointment.More tears. More confusion. More heartache at having to accept the absence of yet more loved ones.The overruling emotion I felt was frustration.Frustration at the fact that we can never relax into the security of knowing how our day will look.Frustration that the decision has been made to cut down weddings, yet still allow many other forms of social interaction in environments far more likely to pose a risk.Frustration that we have t

Options

o go through yet more re-scheduling and planning every element of our wedding for what feels like the 100th time, still without even feeling confident it will go ahead at all.It’s exhausting.<h2 id="9587">Following the light</h2>Yet, now that I’ve had my cry and expressed all that is sad about the situation, I am ready to find peace once again.Ready to move onwards. To do what I can to prepare as much as possible and look forward with as much hope and optimism as I can that we can and will be married soon!I give huge credit to Josh (my fiancé) for teaching and encouraging me to see more of the bright side in life, to accept the things we can’t control, and to focus on the things that truly matter — the things we have that are wonderful.The old me would not have approached this situation the way current me has. She would more than likely have wallowed for far longer, and in doing so, she’d be doing herself a disservice.I’ve made a conscious effort to embody and live out optimism over the last few years, and it has hugely changed my outlook on life and my attitude towards pretty much everything.It is definitely the best way to be, and we can all choose to see the world like this. Optimism IS a choice.So, despite the ridiculously up and down, uncertain, and emotional experience I’ve had with planning a wedding, as have hundreds of other couples, the heart of the matter is:We will be married, and it will be magical.<figure id="117f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*DpBWgiZpzbkA0PbgHUGtzQ.jpeg"><figcaption>Poem by myself (using previous pseudonym) | Design by Laura @ lulabeeweddings</figcaption></figure>Back in April, I wrote this poem to encapsulate the feelings of disappointment felt by myself and everybody in the same situation, with the hope of sprinkling a little bit of hope and optimism upon anybody it touched. I’m hugely proud and humbled that it has been shared far and wide over the last day ❤Danielle Godfrey is a British twenty-something who writes about choosing to follow your gut instead of the crowd. <a href="https://www.livinghonestly.co.uk/honest-letters">Sign up for more inspiration</a> on living a life true to yourself.</article></body>

2 Wedding Postponements Later

and I’m still choosing optimism

This week, my optimism has been put to the ultimate test. To be honest, it has been for the last few months.

Due to get married on the 4th April 2020, I was sorely disappointed to have to postpone for over 6 months thanks to the notorious villain that is Covid19.

After all the time, energy, money, and back-and-forth correspondence that goes into planning a wedding, I was ready and raring to enjoy the day I’d been waiting for. But as the global pandemic rapidly progressed, and the UK government rules changed, I had no choice but to prepare a contingency plan.

And then another… and then yet another.

Today Was Meant To Be My Wedding Day

Coronavirus may have put my wedding on hold — but I’m still one of the lucky ones

medium.com

It will be okay

Things continued to evolve, and I worked to stay positive. As the number of guests allowed to attend a wedding reduced time and time again, I took it on the chin and pushed forward. Determined to marry my love in whichever way we could.

We would have the party at a later date, we just wanted to marry as planned.

And this very nearly happened.

We missed the final chance to get married by about a week. It was gutting.

Still, we had our moments of upset, mourned the fact that we would have to wait a little longer to become husband and wife, then decided to carry on with our lives and look forward to the day our wedding could finally go ahead the way we’d planned.

I felt pride in my ability to find peace with the situation. It would’ve been easy for me to wallow in misery, feel sorry for myself and curse the entire world for what was happening to me.

But I chose optimism. Because, honestly, there’s no point in choosing the alternative.

Choosing optimism allowed me to feel better, to find the positives in the situation and to simply get on with life and feel gratitude for everything I still had the privilege of having, namely my wonderful fiancé.

Different, but still lovely

As time went on and restrictions lifted but remained strict — 30 guests only — we pushed onwards and continued with the wedmin, planning all over again and getting everything ready for our newly scaled down event.

We began to get excited about having a smaller, more intimate event. It would be very different from the wedding we’d planned, but it would be perfect nonetheless.

Throughout it all, we had always held firmly that our becoming husband and wife was the absolute most important part of the wedding.

It’s not that I didn’t care about the guests we were no longer able to have share the day with us — far from it— but for my own happiness and sanity I chose to accept and find the positives within our new plan.

Almost there — time for things to change again!

Now, just over 4 weeks before our upcoming wedding second time around, rules have changed yet again in the UK.

Guest numbers have now dropped from 30 to a tiny 15.

BAM. Another disappointment.

More tears. More confusion. More heartache at having to accept the absence of yet more loved ones.

The overruling emotion I felt was frustration.

Frustration at the fact that we can never relax into the security of knowing how our day will look.

Frustration that the decision has been made to cut down weddings, yet still allow many other forms of social interaction in environments far more likely to pose a risk.

Frustration that we have to go through yet more re-scheduling and planning every element of our wedding for what feels like the 100th time, still without even feeling confident it will go ahead at all.

It’s exhausting.

Following the light

Yet, now that I’ve had my cry and expressed all that is sad about the situation, I am ready to find peace once again.

Ready to move onwards. To do what I can to prepare as much as possible and look forward with as much hope and optimism as I can that we can and will be married soon!

I give huge credit to Josh (my fiancé) for teaching and encouraging me to see more of the bright side in life, to accept the things we can’t control, and to focus on the things that truly matter — the things we have that are wonderful.

The old me would not have approached this situation the way current me has. She would more than likely have wallowed for far longer, and in doing so, she’d be doing herself a disservice.

I’ve made a conscious effort to embody and live out optimism over the last few years, and it has hugely changed my outlook on life and my attitude towards pretty much everything.

It is definitely the best way to be, and we can all choose to see the world like this. Optimism IS a choice.

So, despite the ridiculously up and down, uncertain, and emotional experience I’ve had with planning a wedding, as have hundreds of other couples, the heart of the matter is:

We will be married, and it will be magical.

Poem by myself (using previous pseudonym) | Design by Laura @ lulabeeweddings

Back in April, I wrote this poem to encapsulate the feelings of disappointment felt by myself and everybody in the same situation, with the hope of sprinkling a little bit of hope and optimism upon anybody it touched. I’m hugely proud and humbled that it has been shared far and wide over the last day ❤

Danielle Godfrey is a British twenty-something who writes about choosing to follow your gut instead of the crowd. Sign up for more inspiration on living a life true to yourself.