Today Was Meant To Be My Wedding Day
Coronavirus may have put my wedding on hold — but I’m still one of the lucky ones
Today was meant to be my wedding day.
The 4th of April 2020.
04.04.2020 — an aesthetically pleasing date, I know.
But the last few weeks in the lead up to my wedding date looked very different to how I’d imagined them to look.
We were feeling smug — we’ve got everything under control, we thought. We could just relax until the final moments before our big day.
How wrong we were.
As the spread of Covid-19 across the world and across the UK became more and more concerning, the likelihood of us having the wedding we’d planned looked less and less promising.
We made contingency plan after contingency plan; we’d still get married, and hold the reception later. We’d do a tiny ceremony with just our parents, become husband and wife — that was the important bit, right?
But when we found out that the newest requirements meant, if we still wanted to marry, we could have only 2 witnesses, and that hugging and touching was pretty much against the rules, (other than the bride and groom, of course) we felt there was no option other than to postpone the entire thing.
The idea of having an empty church was sad enough, but not being able to have all 4 parents to witness our marriage — that was just non-negotiable.
The wedding we were being offered looked far too different to the one we’d always imagined. And it was heartbreaking.
So we had our moment of sadness; I had my cry in mourning of the wedding I’d been planning for so many months. But above all, after the tears stopped, what we felt was relief.
We no longer had to worry about stricter measures being put in place, meaning we’d have to change plans again. We no longer had to worry about the risk of spreading the virus. We no longer had to worry about regretting going ahead with the ceremony without all our friends and family.
We could put it to one side. Put the plans on pause. And breathe.
As it happens, just a day or two after making our decision, the UK went into lockdown and weddings were declared officially banned.
We are thankful we didn’t have to experience the gut-wrenching feeling of the choice being taken out of our hands, and knowing in that instant that our wedding was off.
We had made our decision, we had come to accept it, and we were already looking forward to our new date — one that was speedily chosen, secured, and received with much excitement by guests who’d previously thought they were destined to miss the celebration.
So today was meant to be my wedding day. But I am not sad.
I am grateful.
I am grateful to be spending the day with the love of my life — husband or not.
I am grateful for the influx of heartfelt messages we’ve received from loved ones, letting us know they are thinking of us today.
I am grateful for the adorable mini roses my bridesmaids sent me, and the incredible scrapbook of my hen do, created by my best friend and maid of honour.
I am grateful we are at home; safe & healthy.
The world is a frightening place right now, and so many people are fighting through extreme challenge and adversity, and experiencing great loss.
If all I’ve lost is my aesthetically pleasing wedding date — then i’m definitely one of the lucky ones.
Ps. I went on a run wearing my hen do veil, and had bubbly with brunch, so I’m still channelling a bit of bride!
