Self Improvement

Choose to Be a Fear Buster

Fear is a choice. Choose to be a fear buster instead.

I have a friend who frequently says, “Once I figured out they couldn’t cut me up and eat me, there was nothing to be afraid of.”

Rand C. Paul said,

“The fear of death keeps us from living, not from dying”.

Why Fear?

Once fear has us in its clutches, it feels as though it is impossible to break free. It is as if it has unlimited tentacles that bind us to inaction.

What are some of those tentacles?

• The fear of inadequacy — the fear that we can’t do it — or that we can’t do it to the standard that we have set for ourselves.
• The fear of ridicule and judgments from others — particularly those we love or hold in high esteem.
• The voice in the back of our head shouting, “You’ve got to be kidding, you think you can…..”
• The fear of failure and consequent pain — physical pain, emotional pain, or spiritual pain.

So what do these things, and the additional ones we could each list, have in common? They are not real. They are figments of our imagination. They are the worst-case scenarios that play out in our minds until they paralyze us. They feel real. We are responding to a feeling, not to reality. That is why I love my friend’s statement. She chooses reality every time the tip of fear appears on her horizon.

Choose Faith Not Fear

There is an old saying, “faith and fear cannot inhabit the same space”. So when it feels like fear is knocking so hard that it will pound the door down, how do we choose faith?

• We can step back into our rational minds. If we find we are feeling inadequate, perhaps there is an additional preparation that would allow us to feel more competent. Could we team up with someone who has complementary strengths? If we shoot for the sun and only hit the moon or the stars, would that be so bad when compared with sitting on a step looking up at the night sky, and wondering, what if?
• If we fear the ridicule or judgments of others, why are we willing to surrender our identity to them? Perhaps they are jealous we are doing something that they are not willing to do (work). Perhaps they are afraid that when we succeed, they will be left behind, and there won’t be a place for them in our life.
• The voices — the most destructive voice is our own saying, “You have to be kidding”. This voice comes from the past judgments of others, perhaps from our youngest childhood years. We may have experienced pain because of the judgments of others. That is in the past. Leave it there and work to diminish its power. Why would we empower the past to control the future also?
• Fear of failure is like water running over a rock. It ultimately creates a channel for the water to flow through. Years of negative input creates a channel in our brains. It captures our thoughts and redirects them on a simple path, the path of self-doubt.

The Power to Choose

Jill Bolte Taylor has said,

“We have the power to pick, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world.”

Each time we choose what we want, rather than allow that thought to be redirected into the channel of self-doubt, we fill in a bit of that channel, reducing its power. We frequently hear a lot about positive affirmations. These affirmations will help fill in the channel of self-doubt.

The Pain of Failure

The pain of failure is real; however, it is a huge stepping stone on the road to success. Henry Ford said,

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

Fear is nothing more than an excuse to give in to inertia and stay stuck where we are. As we feel it, as we perceive it, it feels incredibly real, reasonable, and logical.

When we step back and put on the glasses of faith, belief, and self-confidence, we see a pathway through it.

Like any other pathway in our lives; physical, emotional, or spiritual, the more often we walk it the more comfortable it becomes.

Walking along other pathways in our lives is no different. There may be thunderstorms to challenge us and threaten to divert us from our goals, but if we are constantly walking these pathways there is nothing to fear.

We understand what we need to do to make it through the storm.

When fear strikes, it doesn’t feel like a choice, but it is. There are rare instances where we are in physical danger, but in most cases when we are attacked by fear that is not the situation.

So the rest of the time, how do we make the choice to reject fear?

First, we recognize the fact that it is a choice. Then we can evaluate the substance of that fear. Having done that, let us choose faith and break through our fears. They are not real. They are the chains that bind us to the past and hold us back from our future. To learn more about fear and our ability to kick it to the curb, check out this article.

What fears are you struggling to overcome? Choose just one thing to be your fear buster tactic. Get accustomed to using that and then add another to your arsenal. Before long you will have a quiver full of strategies and you will be prepared to choose the right one for a particular fear when it rears its head.