Change your life with this one question.

Being up against the challenges that society brings about while finding our way through this maze called life is an uphill battle that can feel extremely overwhelming.

Life is hard, is a statement we have heard or told ourselves over and over again since the earliest of ages. It can indeed be difficult to navigate in an environment that is constantly demanding more from us while experiencing a sense of inadequacy. Measuring ourselves up to the standards that this world requires is the greatest reason for our lack of empathy towards others and ourselves. The one question we never seem to be able to answer quite honestly is also the key to deliverance from our torments. These three simple words can change anyone’s life if answered profoundly ... WHO AM I?

Simple yet complex rhetorical query. The reality is that we spend too little time worrying about who we are and way too much energy contemplating what we are not or better yet what we believe we can not be or even become. Call it confusion, discomfort, or limiting beliefs but this blunt notion will leave you destitute of answers for as long as you will omit to address the elephant in the room. The assumptions of your character that others may convey to you should not hold weight in your life but the truth and the matter are that they do. So how do we best tackle the issue at hand without sinking into false narratives and questions over our truest being and intentions?

Excuses feel comfortable.

When we feel unfit for situations or towards ourselves we become reclusive and indulge in self-sabotaging thought patterns or behaviors thinking that it could solve the afflictions we experience. One of the reasons why such a pattern occurs is that it allows for excuses to validate the current state we are in as opposed to pursuing affirmative and positive actions. Believe it or not but at the time it may feel comfortable to find yourself crawling back under that rock you placed upon your aches however you should always remember, that rock is heavy and will weigh you down.

Water your own seeds.

People don't really know who you are, even though some of your acquaintances, entourage, or close relatives may claim otherwise, they simply don’t know you because you most likely don’t know yourself. Simply put, start by watering your seeds first and foremost if you want to smell the flowers. It is pretty simple. Stop giving so much value to people's points of view on your life and more specifically those who love to put you down and criticize your behavior at any opportunity they get or those who like to give their two cents on your life because of their own insecurities. To be clear some inputs should be taken into consideration, with a grain of salt but again, not all opinions matter. Let me rephrase that, not all points of view may suit you nor may they be aimed at your betterment.

Give up loyalty.

In order to find answers, you will have to refrain from being loyal to those who aren’t able to give you the same regard. Loyalty comes at a way too valuable of a cost to just be giving it away to whoever may not be equipped to hold room for it as you would theirs. Don’t question your character nor theirs but be receptive to the fact that you are where you are because you are open to allowing the process to lead you towards a better and more fulfilling path. It takes time but a flower doesn’t grow overnight. Start at the seed and keep water until you see it blossom.

Take time to find yourself because only then will you be able to become the truest version you were created to become. Here is a quote that has helped me put my life into perspective and I can only hope this helps you as well.

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am ”.

• Thomas Cooley.

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Thank you for reading.