Why happiness may not be enough.

We have heard time and time again that in order to find peace, love, success, abundance and so forth we must find our happiness first and cherish it most, because the more we allow it to transpire through our heart, the more fulfilled we feel. Well, what if happiness wasn’t everything it’s been made out to be.

The majority of us tend to seek happiness in places that make us feel valued. For so long we’ve been taught that what makes us feel good is what we should want to embody most, regardless of where we stand emotionally. “If you are around good you will feel good”, “only focus on the good and you will attract good” — just a few words of affirmation that we may have heard at some point or another. But the truth is that sentences such as those don’t always work and oftentimes may not be enough to pull you out of the rut you’re in. Society’s standards want us to embrace everything that is good about us while neglecting our flaws and therefore denying ourselves the opportunity to truly embrace the deepest and most broken parts of whom we are.

You are supposed to break.

In order to find happiness, you may have to find your rock bottom first. It is not a chase nor a prize to be acquired, it is a long tumultuous journey that requires knowing your deepest and darkest self in order to fully be able to encompass. Nowadays, mental health has become a topic of conversation driven by honest and vulnerable narratives that have allowed many of us to find a voice. It comes as a poignant surprise but it is when darkness overwhelms your life that you can truly be ready to embrace the light. That glimmer is always present within each and every one of us but takes a tremendous amount of effort to get to. See, we are not supposed to be perfect nor are we supposed to be “okay” all of the time. It feels good to feel and accept your brokenness because only then are you honestly ready to welcome your glow.

Depression is not taboo anymore.

We no longer have to pretend or hide behind fake smiles in denial of our afflictions. While I wouldn’t claim this sentiment as being very pleasant, we must recognize that once in the midst of such“discovery” we tend to come upon a myriad of perspectives that can help us find clarity as well as guidance when both strength and will are synchronized. Having dealt with depression myself and whilst still trying to find my middle ground, I can assure you that this is the most challenging yet invigorating process I have gotten to experience. Of course, this isn’t true for everyone as we all have different ways of dealing with these sorts of situations. Only once you have come to the realization that pain will last for as long as you are allowing it to, will you be able to move forward and take a shot at finding your joy.

Self-consciousness will break you.

We are born as innocent and renewed selfless creatures but as we develop an understanding for the requirements this world demands of us, we turn our selflessness into consciousness and become more self-aware or rather overly conscious. Turning these assets from powerful to crippling hindrances will set us back and debilitate us from being, achieving and claiming what we desire most. By letting go of the notion that in order to fit in we must mold ourselves to status quos standards, we are able to be freed from the heavy burden that is self-criticism. Let us not forget that there is a multitude of benefits to being self-conscious, as it can help refine your standards and perform better in all aspects of your life. But just like alcohol, too much of it may leave you feeling disoriented and lost.

So what now?

Happiness is a simple concept yet extremely challenging to grasp for us human beings, as we are constantly having to balance illusion with reality. For some, happiness may be having $1,000 000.00 in their bank account, for some it may just be being healthy and for others, it might be feeling liberated. The truth is that happiness is never going to be enough as long as you are unable to accept everything that you are, as you are. Don’t be fooled by the smoking mirrors and wipe the tears off your face because you don’t have to obsessively look for happiness as an escape from your life’s challenges but rather find pleasure by enjoying the dark times as you would bright ones. Most of all, remember that it is okay not to be okay. There is no shame to be had when you are staying true to yourself.

Conclusion

Happiness will never be enough if you don’t think of yourself as enough, with or without the emotional, physical and spiritual baggage you carry.