HUMOR

Cats vs Dogs — Who Won the 2020 Resident of the United States Election?

The Lighter Side of the 2020 Presidential Election

Last night, all over the United States, pets were ignored while their owners watched presidential election results.

Pissed off (hopefully not literally), the cats and dogs decided to run an election of their own to determine who would be Resident in Chief of the United States.

Representing the cats was a slightly overweight Tom.

And representing the dogs was a likable, greying terrier — an ‘average Joe.’

There was a brief debate. Tom the Cat said Joe the Dog was getting pretty grey and past his prime. He told Joe he looked sleepy and ought to take a nap.

Joe looked into the camera and asked, “Do you really want a Resident who constantly chases Tweeters and is always hissing at you? Doesn’t your family deserve better?”

The votes are still being counted, but early results seem to be favoring Tom the Cat. I know, I’m shocked too. Dogs are better, right?

Further analysis has determined that most cats and dogs voted along party lines. While more United States households have dogs than cats, in total numbers there are more cats in the United States than dogs. Thus, the apparent lead of Tom the Cat. There was a brief discussion of following the human example of tallying the electoral votes by state. Dogs outnumber cats in the following states: Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, West Virginia, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, and Montana. Could that bring Joe the Dog to the needed 271 votes to win?

The dogs favored votes being counted on a state-by-state. Cats, as is their nature, opposed following any human’s example.

The final outcome is yet to be decided.

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