Can’t Imagine Why

Summary

The poem "Can’t Imagine Why" reflects on the struggles of facing systemic biases and the dismissive responses received when addressing these issues.

Abstract

The poem delves into the frustration of experiencing microaggressions and systemic inequalities, juxtaposing the speaker's challenges with the naivety or willful ignorance of someone who fails to understand or acknowledge the struggles faced. It illustrates the emotional toll of being subjected to different standards and the dismissiveness of others who suggest simple solutions like asking nicely, despite the speaker's lived experiences of discrimination. The poem also touches on the speaker's hope that their companion's learning and self-proclaimed anti-racism efforts will lead to a better understanding of their personal struggles.

Opinions

The speaker feels invalidated by the repeated phrase "Can’t imagine why," which seems to diminish their experiences of discrimination and inequality.
There is a clear disparity in treatment highlighted between the speaker and their companion, particularly in professional and academic settings.
The poem conveys a sense of exhaustion from constantly facing pushback and needing to justify their worth, while others seemingly bypass these challenges effortlessly.
The author expresses a hope for change, that knowledge and awareness of systemic issues will lead to genuine empathy and action.
The poem suggests that despite claims of allyship and engagement in anti-racism work, there is a disconnect between understanding and truly internalizing the realities of others' experiences.

a poem

“Can’t imagine why…” you said, at first an empathetic extension, somewhat connection.

but as it built on it became death by a million tiny cuts.

“Can’t imagine why…” as you saw me, step through more hoops for the same project done, facing more pushback, needing far more justification to be accepted as “good enough” to move forward.

“Can’t imagine why…” as you saw me, fired from a job, excluded from a group on the basis of asking for what I deserved, “they were so nice to me, maybe they’ve changed, maybe you just had to ask nicely”

“Can’t imagine why…” as you told me you barely needed to complete the basic degree requirements and just had an old buddy chat with your committee, when that same committee mandated that I must follow all the rules, dot every i, with a dot so round I had to meticulously zoom in with a compass.

“Can’t imagine why…” as the mentors who unequivocally loved you supported you and extended opportunities to you ignored my every networking request, spoke slowly to me as if I did not speak English. You simply laughed it off and said, “Oh don’t be intimidated, they love this work, and all you need to do is kindly ask”

It was a death by a million cuts, a million “can’t imagine why”, as these events unfolded a billion “just don’t be scared to ask” as I saw, clear as day, that doing the same had me rejected, or worse, punished, a trillion self-congratulatory messages about the lengths you’ve taken to take on anti-racism work while exclaiming that the things you were reading were things you’d never fathom, as if I hadn’t told you those stories a million times as you laughed them off with can’t imagine why.

In a way, I let it go every time because I liked you enough to wish that somehow, that self-proclaimed anti-racism progress would somehow translate to us, that knowledge of others’ stories finally set off that label

so that you can finally

imagine why.

Hi I’m Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她) and I can imagine why. I’m living the why, telling its story as if shining light on wilfully closed eyes.

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