Can We Talk About ‘That Guy’ On Dating Profiles?
You know the type…
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Let’s Talk About ‘That Guy’
Clearly “that guy” is not the one you see in the picture above. He’s just some dude that posed for a stock image. Maybe he made enough money to pay for that coffee. You go dude. You got this life thing in the bag and your beard looks really nice.
Not him…I am talking about that guy in your dating site that hops into your pics to deliver a rude comment to you.
Ah, so you’ve met him too?
Perhaps he thinks he’s doing you a favor, right? Be cause HE has got his life all perfect and polished and now he thinks he needs to help you in some way?
Well, one of “those guys” paid me a visit yesterday on Facebook Dating.
Ugh. It wasn’t pretty.
Which prompted me to prepare this handy to-do list for you, for when you’ve been attacked/criticized/insulted/judged on a dating profile.
Self-Care/After-Care for Dating Profile Attacks
- Delete. Do not engage. Report or block, if you can.
- Give a middle finger to the attack-ee. Doesn’t matter they can’t see it. It makes you feel better.
- Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it. Keep doing something nice for yourself until their words disappear from your mind.
- Delete your dating profile if at ANY point if becomes a mental health issue for you. Life is too short to deal with THAT GUYs all the time.
Here’s What Happened to Me
It was uncomfortable. Well. I’ll let you see for yourself…(this is one of the cleanest attacks I’ve had, but it stung nonetheless.)
Now, I don’t know this mister “Jared” at all. Perhaps he doesn’t know I am a successful health and wellness writer. That I love natural beauty. That I feel no-makeup pics are honest and still beautiful. Maybe he doesn’t know how much time I spend taking care of my body and mind so that I am the best version of myself I can be.
He doesn’t know…right? Or is he just an ass?
He could be a really nice guy. He could have his entire life together quite well.
It could be that his actual appearance is better than his pictures. But, in all, I highly doubt it.
I should take his words and deliver them to the rubbish bin in my mind and just move on…
But words like that, they sting.
They resonate with that small part of our mind that says “I’m not good enough.” And don’t kid yourself…no matter how confident you are, that little part of your mental health is there. There is always a tiny voice that says you are not good enough. You work hard to teach this voice that they are wrong about you. Somedays, that’s hard work.
And messages from “that guy” don’t help.
So, what to do?
Message him back and insult his appearance right back? Inform him that he also has a little to learn about self-care and he can start with his attitude and incapacity for kindness?
No — none of that works for me at all. It’s judgemental and intolerant and crual. I am NOT going to attack someone, say some nasty things that aren’t my place at all to say…with the intentions of hurting someone.
It’s more ME to tell him good day. Which, I did.
But this morning…there are his words, floating around in my brain.
Damn yo put on some makeup
…It is self-care you should care about your appearance
This morning I messaged the few nice fellas on there who seem to enjoy being kind to me in their messages — I told them FB dating is closing up shop. Done. No more profile there for me. Life is too short and I would rather be alone that spend time reading through hateful messages.
If you’re out there on dating websites, and feel like it’s kinda beating you up…take a break. Work on spending quality time with yourself. Get out there and live your best life. The right people will cross your path doing exactly the same thing!
Thank you for reading today about my “that guy” dating adventures. Many thanks to the nice fellas out there who treat others with the respect and kindness we all deserve. You guys rock!
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